Parenting teenagers can often feel like navigating a battlefield. One day, your child is affectionate and chatty; the next, they are giving you the silent treatment or snapping at the smallest things.
Many parents find themselves asking: Why does my teenager seem to hate me? The truth is, they probably don’t—but it might feel that way. Here’s why.
1. They are seeking independence
Teenagers are in a phase where they are discovering their identity. They want to make their own choices, assert their independence, and sometimes, that means pushing you away.
When you set boundaries or tell them what to do, they may react with frustration because it feels like you’re controlling them.
2. Their hormones are all over the place
Adolescence brings a surge of hormones that affect emotions, mood, and behaviour.
A simple request to clean their room might be met with an eye roll or a full-blown argument—not because they hate you, but because their brain is still developing its emotional regulation skills.
3. They feel misunderstood
Teenagers often think their parents don’t ‘get’ them. Whether it’s their music choices, fashion, friendships, or struggles, they may assume you’re judging them.
If they feel unheard, they may react with anger, sarcasm, or distance.
4. They are struggling with peer pressure and stress
Academic pressures, friendships, social media comparisons, and self-image concerns can make teenagers feel overwhelmed.
If they lash out at you, it may be because they don’t know how to express their stress in a healthy way.
5. They are testing boundaries
Teenagers will challenge rules and authority figures, including you. It’s part of their journey to adulthood.
If you’re enforcing curfews, limiting screen time, or insisting on family rules, expect some resistance. They might resent you in the moment but will likely appreciate the structure later.
6. They need space but don’t know how to ask for it
Sometimes, teenagers just want to be left alone. When parents check in too often, try to “fix” everything, or ask too many questions, it can feel intrusive.
Their withdrawal isn’t necessarily about hating you—it’s about needing personal space.
7. They are comparing you to other parents
Social media and peer comparisons can make some teens feel like their parents are stricter, less cool, or less understanding than others.
If their friend’s parents allow more freedom, they might resent your rules, even if they’re made out of love.
How to strengthen your relationship
Listen without judging: Let them express themselves without immediately offering solutions or criticism.
Respect their independence: Give them some control over their choices while maintaining important boundaries.
Stay calm during conflicts: Don’t take their attitude personally; respond with patience.
Find common ground: Engage in activities they enjoy and show interest in their world.
Reassure them of your love: Even when they push you away, remind them that you’re always there for them.