Kenyan content creator and entrepreneur Shiko Nguru has opened up about her co-parenting experiences with her ex-partners.
Now married to renowned Classic 105 radio presenter Mike Mondo, Shiko recently shared the complexities of raising children across two vastly different co-parenting arrangements.
In a video she shared on her YouTube, she described her experience as a mixed bag, with one relationship running smoothly while the other presents significant challenges.
"I have one co-parenting relationship where we share financial responsibilities, we share physical custody as much as we can. He lives abroad, and it's very smooth. And we are even friends," she explained. However, her other co-parenting dynamic is far less cooperative.
"I have another co-parenting relationship where at this point, 100% of financial responsibility and 100% of custody is with me," she added.
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From privilege to a harsh reality
Reflecting on her earlier views on co-parenting, Shiko admitted that she once believed it could always be a seamless process if both parents prioritised the child’s well-being.
I think I was very spoiled by my first co-parenting relationship because I remember even on the vlog when people would ask about co-parenting, I was like, co-parenting can be so smooth.
And, you know, it's just about putting the kids’ interests first. And, you know, when you're both mature, co-parenting can be problem-free.
However, her more recent experiences have shown her the stark reality that not all co-parenting arrangements are created equal.
Now that I've experienced the other side of co-parenting, I will say that it has really, really dark moments... It can be extremely contentious and unsettling and disheartening and discouraging and financially exhausting. Emotionally exhausting. I had never experienced that.
A contrast in communication and responsibility
The contrast between her two co-parenting relationships is striking. With one co-parent, she enjoys open and regular communication.
Very free-flowing, open, almost like—not weekly, but certainly multiple times a month communication. Physical custody whenever he's able to or wants to or is around or she flies out for every school holiday. It's going really well.
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However, in her second arrangement, she finds herself shouldering all responsibilities, both financial and physical.
"At this point, it is 100% everything on me. all on me, I should say, on us—on my husband and I. It's on us, it's on this side, let's say. Everything is on this side at the moment," she revealed.
Avoiding public drama
Despite the difficulties, Shiko remains committed to keeping the situation as civil as possible. She understands that many people who followed her journey during her previous relationship are curious about how things have evolved.
I understand the curiosity, and I understand there are a lot of questions because you saw my life in that season, and so you have questions lingering from that season to this one. So let me try and answer.
However, she is careful about how much she shares publicly, opting to protect the privacy of those involved. "That's all I'll say about that. Because like I said, I don't want to be messy. I don't want to put other people's business out there.
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"So that's just where I'm gonna leave it," she concluded. Nguru had three children from her previous relationships.