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Kenyan author and former Machakos County First Lady, Lilian Ng’ang’a, has left fans in shock after revealing a deeply personal and painful chapter of her past.
Known for keeping certain aspects of her life private, Lilian disclosed that she was once in an abusive relationship with a partner she loved dearly.
Hospital visit brings back painful memories
In a TikTok video posted on February 12, she narrated how a visit to the hospital triggered memories of the toxic relationship, where she endured violence but remained with her abuser despite the red flags.
READ: Lilian Ng'ang'a shares lessons on walking away from unworthy relationships
Lilian began her video by updating her fans about her health, stating that she and her baby were unwell but were on the mend. She then shared an incident at the hospital that took her back to a dark period in her life.
I just came from the hospital. My baby and I have been a bit sick. My eye was swollen, and when I got there, the doctor was very concerned, asking me, ‘Did somebody hit you?’ I quickly told him no no, but that question reminded me of something I had gone through in the past.
She recalled how one night in Westlands, her then-boyfriend hit her because he thought she was looking at another man.
And I remembered a time in my life when I had a boyfriend who was violent. This time we were at Westlands and my then boyfriend concludes that this person was looking at me and I was looking at them so he hit me.
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Lilian fought back but stayed in the relationship
Lilian’s immediate reaction was to defend herself. She instinctively hit him back, unable to believe that he had laid hands on her.
And I was so shocked that he hit me that I hit him back like instantly. Who the f*ck do you think you are?
Like many victims of abusive relationships, Lilian admitted that she remained with her partner despite the violence.
She normalised the situation, making excuses for his behaviour, even lying to people when they noticed her injuries.
But even after that incident hatukuachana. Mapenzi ilichacha you know. He s the love of your life. you can't live without him. We continued and it was so toxic.
Sometimes I had to call in sick for work and now I had to go to the doctor and she would ask what happened and I would be like 'Ooh I fell down the stairs. And she told me, 'girl you're lying. This is somebody who hit you.'
READ: Lilian Nganga gives fans rare glimpse into her business, hobbies and profession
Looking back, Lilian now sees the situation for what it was—madness. She stated that she would never allow herself to go through anything similar again, but at the time, she couldn’t see how toxic it was.
But looking back, I've no other conclusion but to say it was madness. At my age now, I would never allow anything close to that to happen. But I think you always need to go through that nonsense for you to never allow them to happen again.
Lilian’s advice to those in abusive relationships
Lilian had a message for those currently experiencing abuse. She acknowledged that while family, friends, and colleagues might tell someone to leave, the decision to walk away ultimately comes when the victim is ready.
If your partner is violent or abusive in any way, and you have your family, colleagues, or friends telling you to leave, but you feel like you can’t, I always say stay. But trust me, the day will come when everything is so clear, and no one will have to tell you to leave. You won’t wait until 8 a.m.; you will leave at 7 a.m.
This message resonated with many, as leaving an abusive relationship is often more complicated than people assume. Victims may feel trapped by love, fear, or even hope that their partner will change.
Speculation over Lilian’s current relationship
Although Lilian did not name the person who abused her in the past, some fans in the comment section speculated that she might be talking about her current relationship. Others suggested she could be indirectly calling for help.
Lilian is currently married to singer Juliani, with whom she shares a son. However, there have been rumours circulating that the two are no longer together. Neither Juliani nor Lilian has confirmed or denied these speculations.
Before marrying Juliani, Lilian was in a high-profile relationship with former Machakos Governor, Alfred Mutua, who is now the Cabinet Secretary for Labour and Social Protection. The two had a highly publicised break-up in 2021, which made headlines for months.