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Lilian Ng’ang’a’s decision to leave former Machakos Governor Alfred Mutua for rapper Juliani in 2021 sparked endless discussions across the country.
Many Kenyans struggled to understand how she transitioned from a life of luxury to being with a man they considered a ‘struggling artist.’
For years, people speculated about the reasons behind her decision—some suggested she left for attention, others claimed she wanted a child.
READ ALSO: 3 reasons Lilian Ng’ang’a would end a relationship
For the first time, Lilian spoke openly about what really led to the shift, what attracted her to both men, and how she found peace after a highly publicised breakup.
Destiny and letting go
Speaking to Dr Ofweneke in an interview, Lilian who netizens think has dumped Juliani, revealed that she believes in allowing life to unfold naturally without forcing things.
I try not to control anything. When I met Juliani, I had never met him before, but clearly, we were meant to meet and have a baby. It was supposed to happen.
She also emphasised that she never struggles to hold on when something has run its course. “I appreciate what we had, the times, the memories, the lessons, and then I move on.”
READ ALSO: How Brenda Wairimu steps in for Juliani when he can't provide for their daughter
After going public with Juliani, the rapper faced severe criticism and online bullying. Many Kenyans could not accept that Lilian had chosen him over Mutua.
The attacks Juliani went through were brutal and unfair. It just shows how Kenyans don’t want to expand their minds to accept some realities.
Turning point in her relationship with Mutua
Lilian explained that her relationship with Mutua began to change when she turned 30. The mother of one felt an inner shift—a need to find more meaning in her life and establish her own identity.
When I turned 30, I felt there was more out there. I wanted to break free, not from the relationship, but just to be my own person. I think our fights started from that—him saying, ‘No, you can’t. It’s us, we are together.’ But when you get to 30 as a woman, you start wanting more for yourself.
READ ALSO: I stayed, even after he hit me - Lilian Ng'ang'a speaks on her abusive ex
She explained that she had everything she could ask for, yet something felt missing. “I remember talking to an older friend, telling him I felt so empty. I had everything, but I didn’t know what was wrong.”
What attracted her to both Mutua and Juliani
Lilian acknowledged that the two men she has been with are very different. However, she revealed that her biggest weakness is being drawn to intelligence.
I am attracted to intelligence, which doesn’t always pay off. I like a man who teaches me something I don’t know. It’s not about how you look or what you do—it’s about what I can learn from you.
She met Juliani at a time when she was open to new experiences and perspectives. However, she does not regret her time with Mutua, recognising that they had a meaningful relationship.
I met Juliani at the right time, just like I met Alfred at the right time. We were supposed to be together for 10 years, build Machakos together, and do many great things. And we did. Then I met Juliani, and we now have a beautiful son together. It’s been really good.
Lilian' s path to self-discovery
Her friend introduced her to philosophy, which became a turning point in her journey.
Through this, Lilian discovered a deeper sense of purpose. She embraced Stoicism, a school of thought that teaches resilience, emotional control, and focusing only on what one can change.
I am a full stoic. I get bothered, but not too bothered. As a Stoic, you learn to let go. You don’t try to control too much. Instead, you ask yourself, ‘How much control do I have over this?’ If it’s beyond your control, you let it go.
In addition to philosophy, she also found solace in running.
Running freed my soul. Today, if I feel worried about something, I just go for a run—without music, without distractions. It clears my mind completely.
While there have been unconfirmed reports about Lilian and Juliani parting ways, what stands out from her conversation with Ofweneke is her growth as an individual. Her willingness to express views on various issues on social media speaks to this transformation.
At the end of the day, life is about growth, and for Lilian, her journey has been about finding peace, purpose, and love—on her own terms.