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Dear Kenyan women, stop having oral sex with cats

We're just as petrified as you are

It’s quite outstanding how many times we have to say ‘don’t put this’ into your vagina. The global rise in urgency to revamp the lady parts and enjoy more orgasms is worrying but not as a horrifying as some of the things women are doing to their vaginas.

We could justify it under, your princess your problem, but come on’ why in the world would anyone let their pet cat lick their clitoris for pleasure?

Yup, you read right.

A certain daughter of man took to a controversial Facebook page to confess how she lets her cat lick her clitoris for what she defined as pleasure that’s a thousand times better than normal oral sex.

She said, “I would love to teach women here the art of fellatio with a cat… yes a cat. For those women who have cats and are bold enough to admit the truth that its indeed true we let ur cats lick their nemesis our clitoris.”

The lady named Magdalene Ambani went on to explain on Kilimani Mum’s Udaku Zone on Facebook how it is done.

She revealed, “ You see its really simple just take yoghurt and pour it on your p#*@y, signal the cat to lick it and I’ll assure you the pleasure is 1000 times more better than a man’s D. Thank me later.”

Considering I also own a pet cat, the idea of my Whiskey going down one me is not only disturbing but very offensive. It’s bestiality at it’s best with no difference to the guy who had sex with a snake.

When I shared this with a group of friends, one guy asked, “Na ikipita nayo?” (What if the cat bites it off?)

After a rib cracking laughter we set on to discuss the troubling state of women and sexuality as is right now.

Women taking more interest in their lady parts and trying to better their reproductive health is an encouraging idea that should be promoted by all means.

The discord comes in when women start putting things like toothpaste, vapor rub and ice cubes into their vaginas in a bid to tighten, clean and sensitize for better sex.

The height of laziness is outstanding! Not wanting to go through the difficult processes of obtaining a healthy vagina might cost your more than the discipline it requires to do kegels, eat right and clean up well after coitus.

It’s really not worth it.

The female reproductive organ is created in such a way that it can self-cleanse and nurture a child from conception to birth. All you need apart from healthy living is cleaning up with warm water!

The extents that ladies are now going to advance their sexual abilities is a clear indication that much more needs to be done to help women understand the importance of their vaginas and how level of care needed to keep healthy and smiling.

Let’s a pick a struggle ladies, there are so many amazing sex toys invented specifically for clitoral pleasure, the boy child does not need a new competitor. Sponsors and toys are bad enough already.

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