Women fake orgasms. That’s as much a fact of life as the fact that stairs suck and Nakumatt shutting down is heart-breaking.
So men, how do you know your girl’s faking?
It’s not an exact science though. The only sure fire way of figuring out is conducting an MRI during the moment of crisis but since MRI machines are very expensive, really hard to move about and this would be gross misuse of medical equipment, you’ll just have to use a little guesswork.
Here are some signs that your girl may be faking it.
Normal breathing
Owing to the sensory overload that sex can cause, it’s definitely a sign things are a bit hinky if she is still breathing normally.
Or if her breathing is full of moans and hiccups, they seem timed.
Eye contact
When a woman’s naughty bits are being laid into properly, it’s highly unlikely that she will have proper vision. Her pupils will have dilated and if the pleasure is through the roof she’ll even see stars or black spots in her vision. But if she’s entirely clear, then something may not be up to par.
Speech
No matter how stoic, women can’t be coherent during orgasm. It just doesn’t happen. Forget the “I love you” declarations in Mills and Boon novels. At that precise moment, she speaks tongues in staccato. Probably only recalling the syllables of her lover's name.
Dry skin
Usually orgasm is preceded by sweaty skin. Or an abrupt sheen owing to the release of adrenalin. If the skin remains dry and the room isn’t air conditioned and the windows are shut, she’s probably faking it.
Dry vagina
During climax, women release even more fluid as their vagina pulsates. If she is dry, she probably stopped enjoying the sex a while back. And the “Oohs” and “Aahs” may have been just to get it over with.
Kegels
Now this is a clever one. When a woman comes for real her vagina pulsates yes but it’s more of a flutter than a throb. And the pulses are faster than a woman can do Kegels. They are erratic and difficult to put to a timer. But a woman who’s faking will do Kegels at almost equal intervals.
Clitoris not retracted
If you can still see her clit head, she's faking it. The head retracts into the folds at the moment of climax. Your finger should be there to confirm if it properly folds. And because reasons.