“Saturday Night Live” opened this week’s broadcast in the Trump Tower bedroom of Eric (played by Alex Moffat), as he timidly told his older brother, Donald Jr. (Mikey Day), that he feared something sinister was in his closet.
Day told him: “Eric, there’s no boogeyman in your closet. Have you been watching the news again? You can’t watch that stuff, bud. It’s too grown-up.”
As Don Jr., Day then began to read Eric a portion of Clement Clarke Moore’s “A Visit From St. Nicholas,” but he was interrupted by a mysterious noise. “There’s something in my closet,” Moffat said.
Day answered: “That’s just the cheap steel dad uses to build his towers. They just groan in the wind.” He then threw open the closet door to reveal Mueller (played by Robert De Niro, a recurring guest role), who gave Moffat a silent gesture to warn that he had his eyes on him.
After Day left the bedroom to take a call from his lawyer (“How bad is it? ... But can I flip on him?”), De Niro sat down at the side of the bed next to Moffat.
“Don’t be scared,” De Niro said. “It’s just me, Robert Mueller, your dad’s friend from work.”
Moffat replied, “I’m not allowed to talk to you.”
“That’s fine, Eric,” said De Niro. “It was pretty clear early on that you don’t know anything. I wish I could say the same for some of your dad’s friends.”
As the sketch later wrapped up, Moffat said, “Mr. Mueller, people say you’re the worst thing to ever happen to my dad.”
“No, Eric,” answered De Niro. “Getting elected president was the worst thing that ever happened to your dad.”
In other memorable moments from the show:
— Prime-Time Soap Opera of the Week
“SNL” returned to the Oval Office for a mash-up of recent White House intrigue and the Fox series “Empire” called “Them Trumps.” As a narrator described it, the show is the first to ask the question “What if Donald Trump was black?”
As the sketch began, President Darius Trump (Kenan Thompson) was told by an aide (Moffat) that the walls were closing in on him: “They know about Russia,” Moffat said. “They know you used campaign money to cover up an affair with Magic City stripper Cinnamon Mercedes. And they know about the pyramid scheme you’ve been running through your company, Darius Trump Country Hams.”
Thompson responded by beginning to deliver a dramatic monologue.
“Maybe I’ve done some dirty things, but I’m making America great again,” he said. “And what these feds don’t realize is that I’m the president. The most powerful man in the most respected office in the world. They can’t lock me up. And even though I may be black ——”
At that moment, FBI agents immediately stormed the room and arrested Trump.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Thompson quipped.
— ‘Game of Thrones’ Parody of the Week
If you’ve been hard up for “Game of Thrones” content since the most recent season ended in 2017, you could do worse than “Khal Drogo’s Ghost Dojo,” a public access TV show where “we talk with some of the hundreds of characters from ‘Game of Thrones’ who have been killed off the show,” as Thompson, a co-host, explained.
The sketch was mostly an excuse to let this week’s guest host, Jason Momoa, reprise his “Game of Thrones” role as warrior Khal Drogo and to let cast members impersonate “Thrones” characters. It also included an exchange between Momoa and Heidi Gardner, playing Brienne of Tarth, that referenced the recent troubles of Kevin Hart, who withdrew as host of the Academy Awards after refusing to apologize for anti-gay jokes.
In his Dothraki language (translated by subtitles), Momoa said of Gardner, “If this man wants to fight, I’ll give him what he wants.”
Gardner replied incredulously: “Man? Wow, you have a lot to learn about identity politics.”
“You’re right,” a chastened Momoa said in broken English. “Khal need to learn from Khal’s mistakes or Khal never win Oscar. Never host Oscar.”
Taking in the scene, Thompson said, “Wow, what a teachable moment.”
— Weekend Update Jokes of the Week
At the “Weekend Update” desk, anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on the latest developments in the Mueller investigation.
Jost:
“This week, Robert Mueller released the teaser trailer for ‘Trump: Endgame.’ Federal prosecutors said Friday that Michael Cohen committed two election-related crimes at the direction of a person identified as Individual-1. Now, we don’t know for sure who Individual-1 is. But let’s just say things are getting tense right now over at Individual-1 Tower.
Earlier today, Trump called the Mueller report ‘collusion illusion.’ Which is also my favorite Guns N’ Roses album. And yesterday, Trump tweeted, with no context or explanation: ‘Totally clears the president. Thank you!’ Sounds like somebody’s been reading ‘The Secret.'”
Che:
“Trump is now calling for an end to the Mueller probe, which, I’ve got to admit, it’s worth a shot. You don’t want to go to jail and then find out you could’ve just called it off the whole time. The scariest thing about watching Trump be president is that he tries all the things that I would try. President Trump also tweeted that he ‘will be doing a major counter report to the Mueller report.’ Well, you better hurry up, bud, because you only get one hour a day on that prison computer. Also, nothing says you’re guilty more than making a counter report before the Mueller report is even out. That means he knows it’s going to be bad. That’s like when you’re watching ‘Cops’ and as soon as they pull up to the house, there’s already a shirtless guy on the lawn, saying, ‘OK, now first of all, she’s lying.'”
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Jost also dug into the announcement that Trump’s chief of staff, John Kelly, plans to leave the White House:
“President Trump announced today that John Kelly, his chief of staff, is leaving his position at the end of the year, because Kelly requires extensive surgery to remove his palm from his face. That’s how awful it is to work in the Trump White House, by the way. John Kelly spent 40 years in the Marines. He did three tours in Iraq. And he couldn’t finish one tour with Donald Trump.”
And Che later went on to offer an awkward defense of sorts for Kevin Hart.
“Well, that was short. Kevin Hart had to step down as host of the upcoming Academy Awards because of homophobic tweets from 2011. But didn’t the Academy nominate Mel Gibson for an award just last year? Also, if Kevin Hart isn’t clean enough to host the Oscars, then no black comic is. The only black comic I know that’s cleaner than Kevin Hart is booked for the next three to 10 years. [Here the screen displayed a picture of Bill Cosby.]”
This article originally appeared in The New York Times.