In many communities across Western Kenya, the death of a married man triggers a series of deeply rooted cultural practices that his widow is expected to follow.
While some of these customs are intended to honour the deceased and preserve family bonds, others place significant emotional and social burdens on widows.
Despite changing times and legal reforms, these traditions remain influential, shaping the lives of many women who lose their spouses. Below are five customs that continue to be observed in Western Kenya when a married man dies.
1. Widow cleansing ritual
Among the Luo, a widow may be required to undergo a 'cleansing' ritual before she can be accepted back into society. This practice often involves engaging in sexual intercourse with a designated man, usually a relative or a hired cleanser.
The belief is that the widow needs to be purified to avoid bringing bad luck to herself or the community. However, this practice has been widely criticised for exposing women to sexually transmitted infections and violating their rights.
2. Shaving of hair
Shaving the widow’s hair is a common practice in various communities, including the Kisii, Luhya, and, in some instances, the Kalenjin.
This act symbolises the end of the marital bond and serves as a sign of mourning. While some widows may willingly comply, others find the practice humiliating.
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3. Wife inheritance
Among the Luo, a widow may be expected to marry a male relative of her late husband, typically a brother or cousin. This practice, known as 'tero', is meant to ensure the continuity of the family and provide security for the widow and her children.
However, many widows resist this tradition, as it often limits their freedom to remarry outside the family or make independent choices about their future. This practice has also led to the spread of sexually transmitted infections, contributing to a high death rate.
4. Pledge not to remarry
In the Kisii community, there is a norm that binds a widow to her deceased husband’s memory for life. As part of the burial ritual, the widow may be required to throw soil into her husband’s grave.
This act is symbolic, representing an eternal bond between the widow and her deceased spouse. Once this ritual is performed, she is expected never to remarry or bear children out of wedlock.
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5. Prolonged mourning period
Among the Luhya and Luo communities, widows are expected to observe a strict mourning period, which can last up to six months.
During this time, the widow is expected to mourn daily, weeping exactly at 6 am and 5 pm in the evening until the husband visits her in a dream, signalling that she can stop mourning and begin to look for someone to take care of her.