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Kenyan households are governed by a unique set of unspoken rules, traditions and expectations that are rarely discussed but instinctively followed by everyone.
Whether it’s how meals are served, the way visitors are treated, or the hierarchy of responsibilities, these unwritten guidelines shape daily life in every home.
If you grew up in Kenya, chances are you’ve encountered most of these rules, sometimes enforced with a simple look from a parent.
1. Greeting Everyone is Mandatory
You can't just walk into a room and sit down. Whether it's family, visitors, or even the househelp, you must greet everyone. Ignoring this is seen as disrespectful.
2. First Come, First Serve? Not Really
The best piece of meat (or the biggest ugali portion) is usually reserved for the father or the eldest male in the house. You don’t just grab the biggest piece unless you want to be seen as disrespectful.
3. Everyone Can be a Parent
Your aunties, uncles, and even close family friends are automatically your parents. You’ll call them “mum” or “dad,” and if they discipline you, your actual parents will probably support them.
4. You Can’t Be in the House the Whole Day
Sitting in the house from morning to evening is unacceptable. You’ll be asked, “Hautoki nje kidogo upate jua?”
5. The Last-Born is Everyone’s Errand Runner
If you're the last-born, forget about chilling. You're automatically responsible for fetching the remote, getting drinking water, and running every small errand in the house.
6. The TV is Not Yours
If your parents or older siblings want to watch the news, you will watch the news. Cartoons, Netflix, or anything you like is secondary.
7. Every Meal Must Have Ugali or Rice
A meal without either of these two is not considered a proper meal. You can eat spaghetti, but don't dare call it "dinner."
8. Visitors are Treated Like Royalty
Even if the family was eating githeri the day before, when visitors come, meat, chapati, and soda must appear as if it’s an everyday thing.
9. School Fees is a Mystery Until the Last Minute
Your parents will somehow have school fees, but they won’t tell you where it comes from. You just hear "Utaenda shule, usijali" (You’ll go to school, don’t worry) even if they don’t have the money at that moment.
10. Parents Always Have "Another Plan"
No matter how well you explain something, Kenyan parents will always have a mysterious alternative. You can say, “Mum, I want a laptop for school,” and she’ll say, “Kwani hizi simu hazitoshi?” (Aren't these phones enough?).
11. You Can’t Just Announce a Friend’s Visit
Bringing a friend home? You better inform your parents early.
12. Sundays are for Church or Cleaning
Sleeping in on a Sunday is a myth in most Kenyan homes. If you're not in church, you're scrubbing the house or washing clothes.
13. Parents Speak in Proverbs
Asking a simple question in a Kenyan home rarely guarantees a straightforward response.
Instead, you’ll get a cryptic proverb that leaves you more confused than before. Want permission to go out? Your mom might hit you with “hii nyumba imekua yako sindio?”
Kenyan parents have perfected the art of wisdom with a side of mystery, and if you don’t understand their message, well… that’s your problem.