How Valentine’s Day would go if people were completely honest

Valentine’s Day is almost here again — red roses, cheesy love songs, and awkward dinner dates galore. But what if people ditched the pretence, threw honesty into the mix, and let the day unfold with brutal truth?

Let’s explore how the day would really go if people kept it real.

Morning Texts: "Happy Valentine's or Whatever"

Instead of poetic good morning messages filled with 'baby boo' and 'sweetie pie' sentiments, messages would be brutally honest:

"Happy Valentine's, but honestly, I almost forgot it was today."
"Hope you’re not expecting a gift this year; inflation imepiga kila mtu."
"My mum asked me why I'm still single — I need a fake boyfriend by lunchtime. Wueh!"

Gift Shopping: Panic Mode Activated

Forget thoughtful pre-planned gifts. Most Kenyans would admit to dashing to a roadside vendor last minute, hoping to grab whatever is left — wilted flowers and questionably fresh chocolate.

In the perfume aisle at a supermarket, a couple would openly debate:
"Si you just pick the small one? It's the thought that counts, right?"

Meanwhile, a stressed guy might whisper to his friend: "Bro, should I just Mpesa her and skip this drama?"

Office Valentine Shenanigans: "Who sent the flowers?"

When the flower delivery guy arrives at the office, you can bet there'll be chaos. Colleagues would finally say what they're thinking:

"Kwani who sent flowers to Brenda again? I thought she broke up with that guy!"
Sisi wengine tukona tu data bundles, ni sawa."

The Instagram Pressure: "Can We Stop?"

On the Gram, people would ditch the perfectly curated posts and admit what's really going on:

"This bouquet cost me my rent money, but we move."
"Couples posting matching outfits — I see you, but please let us breathe."
"Here's my Valentine's plan: ugali, skuma, and vibing with Netflix."

Singles would also reclaim their narrative:

"Valentine’s for who? My only bae is Safaricom’s unlimited bundles."

Dinner Dates: Awkward truths

Forget candle-lit dinners with polite smiles. Couples would finally come clean:

"This restaurant is expensive, babe — can we just share one starter?"
"Why are you on your phone? At least pretend I’m more interesting than TikTok!"
"This romantic playlist is making me feel guilty about my empty bank account."

After all the drama of the day, honesty would peak during late-night conversations:

"Babe, can we admit Valentine’s Day is just another day in the carlendar?"
"You’re the best thing in my life — even if you made me wait two hours for dinner."
"We’re still broke, but at least we have love... and leftovers."

If people were completely honest on Valentines Day,

If people were completely honest on Valentine’s Day, it might be chaotic, but it would also be refreshingly real.

Love doesn’t have to come wrapped in glitter and grand gestures — sometimes it’s just about surviving the day without strangling your partner or overdosing on chocolate.

Don't get me wrong—I'm not against dates, gifts, or making your person feel special. I'm just saying keep it within reason; there's absolutely no need to go overboard, or lie!

Happy Valentine’s (or whatever)!