Kenyan men, like many others across the world, have their own set of criteria when choosing a life partner.
While factors such as culture, upbringing, and religion may influence their approach to relationships, certain traits are almost universal among them.
When it comes to marriage, Kenyan men often subject their potential wives to a series of tests to assess their suitability.
In this article, we explore some of the most common tests that Kenyan men use to determine whether a woman is 'wife material.'
1. House chores, cooking, and cleaning
It is often said that 'the cleaner the house, the better the wife,' and many Kenyan men strongly believe in this notion.
One of the earliest tests a woman may encounter in a relationship is the ability to manage household chores, particularly cooking and cleaning.
Many men will invite their girlfriends over to their homes and observe how they handle domestic duties. A woman who takes the initiative to cook a delicious meal, clean the house, or even do laundry often earns extra points.
While this test is deeply rooted in traditional gender roles, modern relationships are increasingly shifting towards shared responsibilities.
However, many Kenyan men still hold onto the belief that a woman who excels in homemaking is a strong candidate for marriage.
2. Financial discipline
Managing finances is crucial in any long-term relationship. Kenyan men believe that a woman’s ability to handle money wisely is an indicator of her capability to manage household finances in the future.
Men often test this by giving their girlfriends a certain amount of money and observing how they spend it.
Some may provide funds for upkeep, groceries, or even entertainment to gauge her financial discipline.
If she prioritises necessities over luxury items and demonstrates the ability to save or budget wisely, she is considered a good partner.
3. Blending with family and friends
Kenyan men place a lot of value on how well their partners get along with their family and friends. A woman who is warm and accommodating will always be preferred over one who is standoffish or rude.
A common test involves introducing a girlfriend to close family members and friends and observing her interactions.
A woman who makes an effort to engage, show respect, and build relationships with them is seen as a strong candidate for marriage. Conversely, if she appears uninterested, overly reserved, or outright disrespectful, it may raise red flags.
For example, if a woman visits her boyfriend’s home and engages warmly with his siblings or helps his mother prepare a meal, she is likely to receive a stamp of approval.
On the other hand, if she remains detached or uninterested in his family dynamics, it may lead to doubts about her suitability.
4. Conflict resolution skills
Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but how they are handled can determine its success. Kenyan men often test a woman’s ability to navigate conflicts maturely before considering her for marriage.
A woman who approaches conflict with patience, calmness, and a willingness to communicate is seen as a valuable partner. In contrast, those who respond with aggression, emotional outbursts, or even physical confrontations are often deemed unfit for marriage.
For instance, if a couple has a minor misunderstanding and the woman resorts to insults or refuses to communicate, the man may view her as someone who will not handle marital conflicts well.
However, a woman who listens, expresses her concerns calmly, and seeks a resolution will likely be regarded as a strong partner.
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5. The mother’s approval
Mothers hold a special place in Kenyan society, and many men rely on their mothers’ opinions when choosing a wife.
The belief that 'mothers can spot a good wife from a mile away' is widespread, and their approval often carries significant weight.
In many cases, a man will introduce his girlfriend to his mother and observe her reaction. Some mothers go as far as setting small tests, such as asking the woman to help in the kitchen or gauging how she interacts with the rest of the family.
A woman who naturally fits in and earns the mother’s approval is more likely to move towards marriage.