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Marriage traditions among the Bukusu people are often associated with polygamy, a cultural norm that has shaped perceptions for generations.
For Mary Chebukati, this reality was at the forefront of her father’s concerns when she chose to marry a Bukusu man, the late Wellington Wanyonyi Wafula Chebukati.
Her pastor, too, shared similar apprehensions, insisting that she and her fiancé undergo extensive counselling before their wedding.
But as time would prove, the man she chose defied expectations, becoming not just a devoted husband but a pillar of unwavering love, integrity, and commitment.
READ ALSO: Rachel Chebukati: Her dad's greatest lessons & what she wishes they had done sooner
A love that surpasses expectations
Mary met Wafula Chebukati while attending a training program in Mombasa. At the time, she was an accountant, and he was running his law firm, Wanyonyi & Company Advocates.
Their connection blossomed into a relationship, eventually leading to their wedding on 21st April 1990 at Maria Christian Centre.
Before the wedding, Mary's pastor had a condition—the couple had to attend counselling sessions. Missing even one session could disqualify them from getting married.
Chebukati took this seriously, travelling from Mombasa to Nairobi every weekend, sometimes even twice a week, to ensure he met the requirement.
A father’s concern & pastor’s test
Her pastor, too, took no chances. He insisted that the couple go through counselling sessions as a prerequisite for marriage. What Rachel didn’t realise at the time was that this was more than just pre-marital guidance—it was a test of Chebukati’s commitment.
So before our wedding my pastor said that we undergo counseling sessions and that was a prerequisite for marriage you took it to heart attending every session without fail knowing that missing even one of them might lead to disqualification.
After a month I was transferred to Mombasa to join him so later it became clear to me that the pastor had been testing your commitment and that was because the the sessions he used to come for. I think the pastor wanted to really understand and be sure I am in the right hands because my pastor I was going to get married to a Bukusu and you know Bukusu's they are like Muslims they can have more than one wife
Mary's father had his reservations about her marriage to late Chebukati. Having raised his family in a monogamous setting, he feared that she might enter a polygamous setup—something Bukusu men were culturally known for.
His concerns were so deep that he often asked, "Are you sure you want to marry a Bukusu?"
So my father had actually cautioned me and he kept on asking are you sure you want to go to Bukusu and if you do then be ready to have company. He kept on fearing that he knew the way he had brought us up my parents had been together and we had not had issues of a polygamous marriage and I was entering a home which was polygamous.
My father feared that I may be a subject of a polygamous setup but the sessions that we took man helped. The man lying here assured my pastor that Bukusu cultures will not play a big role in our family and indeed they did not.
READ ALSO: Meet Chebukati’s last-born son who found success away from father's shadow
How Chebukati dealt with women who claimed to be his 'First Ladies'
In 1997, Chebukati decided to run for a parliamentary seat in Sabaoti, Trans Nzoia. Mary, however, was hesitant. At the time, their children were still young, and she was balancing a demanding job in the public sector at the Coast Province. Yet, Chebukati insisted that she be part of his political journey.
What she later came to understand was that, while he needed her by his side in his public life, he also wanted to shield her from its chaos.
During his campaigns, he ensured she was present but never overexposed. He even arranged for his elder sister, Dina, to move into their home, not only to support him but also to ensure Mary was well cared for.
There was another reason behind this arrangement—Mary later learned that while she was away in Mombasa, many people claimed to be his ‘first lady’.
By having Dina there, he created a barrier against opportunists, making it clear that he was a married man with a wife who would always be by his side.
It turned out that because I was not at home, I was in Coast there were so many people hovering around pretending to be the first ladies of the aspiring candidate. So I think he deliberately put his sister Dina there just to make sure that there's a shield around him. So that was him I think that's why I am still the only wife to the man.
That was the highest chance of it happening because when you are campaigning everybody wants to associate with you as your first lady. So my husband kept on insisting you must come home you must be seen I must be seen to have a wife and to just have a decent wife. To me you were always honey or darling
READ ALSO: Chebukati vs Kivuitu: 5 strange coincidences about their lives & deaths
How Mary & Chebukati solved their issues
Chebukati was Mary's confidant and greatest supporter. He was deeply involved in her daily life, ensuring that even the smallest details were taken care of. He would drop her at work every morning and pick her up every evening.
One of her fondest memories was of a day they had a disagreement. On their way to work, she gave him the silent treatment.
Every morning you would drop me at the different at the district treasury where I worked and pick me up in the evening. I recall one day one of those days as a young married couple we had had a disagreement and I gave you the silent treatment.
However, when he picked her up in the evening, he had seen her earlier, laughing with colleagues. Amused, he asked, “Was that really you? Or was it someone else who looks just like you?” That simple question broke the ice, reminding her of his ability to bring lightness even in moments of tension.
He had a way of bringing me back whenever we had disappointments.
Their marriage was built on such moments—small, yet profound gestures that defined their love. Despite being known as the quieter one in public, at home, Chebukati was the talkative one. He enjoyed long conversations, always engaging Mary in deep discussions.
Life built on integrity & faith
According to Mary, Chebukati was a man of integrity who despised lies. He could not stand dishonesty, and his favourite Bible verse, Mark 8:36, reflected his values: “For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?”
As Mary bid farewell to the love of her life, she reflected on the countless memories they had built together—their laughter, their shared experiences, and the commitment they had to each other.
Their marriage was a legacy. One that defied expectations, broke cultural stereotypes, and stood as a example of what true partnership means.