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Having a new baby brings a mix of emotions; joy, love, excitement, and sometimes, anxiety and frustration.
According to UNICEF, it is normal for new parents to experience highs and lows as they adjust to the significant physical and emotional changes that come with welcoming a newborn.
However, for some, these feelings develop into something deeper. Postpartum depression (PPD), a condition that can overshadow the joy of parenthood.
Content creator Milly Wa Jesus shared her experience with postpartum depression after the birth of her third child.
READ ALSO: Kabi WaJesus owns up to his mistakes, offers apology for criticising pregnant wife
I thought about walking away - Milly WaJesus
In an emotional therapy session with psychiatrist Caroline Vundi, Milly admitted that in January, just weeks after giving birth, she considered leaving her husband and children.
I remember in the first week of January, I was like, what if I just leave these kids and walk away? That was one of the darkest thoughts I’ve ever had.
At some point, the thoughts became even darker. She started feeling like she was a burden to those around her and even questioned whether she should continue living.
On 1st January, I felt like maybe I was too much, that I was a burden on people. I thought they would be better off if I wasn’t there.
READ ALSO: Milly WaJesus confesses Kabi's toxic trait in their marriage
Husband who didn’t understand at first
Milly revealed that her husband, Kabi, initially struggled to understand what she was going through. When she tried to explain her emotions, his response hurt her deeply.
I had this argument with Kabi and told him, ‘Do you know I went through depression?’ And he was like, ‘Why are you pretending? You just want to be like other women who say they are depressed.’ I felt really bad.
Milly found herself wanting to be out of the house more often. She said staying at home made her feel overwhelmed, and her mind would spiral with sadness.
She felt an urge to find something to do with her life, hoping it would distract her from the emotional turmoil she was experiencing.
Kabi WaJesus also felt the effects
Her struggle with postpartum depression also affected Kabi. He admitted that he, too, felt frustrated during this period. At one point, he even found himself unable to comfort their newborn when she cried.
The baby was just two weeks old, and we didn’t have a house help. I remember one time I was going to give her a bath, and she was crying, and I just thought, let her cry. That’s when I realised I wasn’t okay either. I also realised Milly was not okay.
Caroline Vundi explained that when a mother suffers from postpartum depression, her partner can also experience emotional strain, leading to what is known as paternal depression.
When a mother is depressed, their partner often feels the effects too. Some men become numb, others become harsh, and some grow anxious because they don’t know what to do or say.
READ ALSO: She was dating my friend - Kabi WaJesus shares story of how he met his wife
Understanding postpartum depression
Postpartum depression is not a sign of weakness, nor does it mean a mother doesn’t love her child. It is a medical condition caused by hormonal changes after childbirth.
Psychiatrist Vundi explained that during pregnancy, hormone levels are high, but after birth, they drop suddenly. This shift can confuse the brain, leading to emotional instability.
According to data from the World Health Organisation (WHO), about 10% of pregnant women and 13% of new mothers worldwide experience mental health disorders, primarily depression.
In developing countries, these numbers rise to 15.6% during pregnancy and 19.8% after childbirth. If left untreated, postpartum depression can severely affect both mother and baby, and in extreme cases, it may lead to suicidal thoughts.
How to overcome postpartum depression
The good news is that postpartum depression is treatable. Here are some ways mothers can manage it:
Seek Professional Help – Therapy or counselling can help mothers navigate their feelings and develop coping strategies.
Medication – In some cases, antidepressants may be necessary to regulate mood and restore mental balance.
Talk About It – Opening up to friends, family, or support groups can make a huge difference. Practice Self-Care – Taking breaks, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring joy.
How partners can offer support
A new mother needs a strong support system to help her through this challenging time. Here’s how partners can assist:
Ensure she is eating well and staying hydrated.
Allow her to get adequate rest by sharing baby duties.
Encourage her to express her feelings without judgement.
Be patient and understanding, even when she seems distant or irritable.