But texts during the following weeks never turned into plans, and the guy eventually stopped texting Testa altogether. As someone who went on one to three dates a week back then, it wasnt her first or last experience with a "slow fader" (a.k.a. a romantic prospect who slowly drops out of contact), though she wishes it was.

"The slow burn is even less attractive than ghosting because it gives the illusion of hope," says Testa, whos been with her current boyfriend for about a year and a half.

However infuriating, enduring a slow fade is a reality for many singles these days, says , RCC, a therapist in New York City who specializes in relationships and other issues facing her millennial clientele. Shes even been slow-faded by a guy she was dating for months. "Its a way of both avoiding the discomfort of having a difficult conversation and mitigating guilt of ghosting," she says.

And while a slow fade can reveal youre dealing with a jerk-or at least calls into question their self-awareness, morality, integrity, and compassion, in Bruneaus opinion-it may mean nothing more than youre dating in the digital age, when the next catch is one swipe away. "You get distracted, and the person you should be open and honest with just fades from your memory," Testa finds.

So yeah, getting slow-faded sucks. Here's how to tell if it's happening to you-and what to do about it:

1. They take more and more time to respond to texts.

Did they used to respond within seconds and now its hours? Next week, it may be days. "There's no 'right' amount of time to respond to someonebut what you want to look for is a change," Bruneau explains. "Don't compare this person to the last person you saw-compare them to the person they were when you first started seeing each other."

Need to blow off some steam? Here are all the petty texts you wish you'd sent to a slow fader:

2. Their responses are shorter and less enthusiastic.

Similarly, the thing to notice here is a behavioral change. If they used to send you news clips and tell you how excited they were to see you, and now youre lucky to get more than an emoji, somethings probably up. "When youre dating someone, you shouldnt have to wonder when youre going to see them or when theyre going to text," says , an online dating coach in Austin.

3. They stop making concrete plans.

You might not want to admit it, but someone saying, "Sure, lets hang out," is totally different from asking, "Are you free to check out my friends art exhibit Thursday after work?"

Slow faders may have some interest in seeing you again, but not so much interest that theyre actually firming up plans-or, at least, plans that require any sort of effort-to make it happen. For Bruneaus slow-fading boyfriend, for example, what used to be frequent, thoughtful dates became infrequent Netflix and chill sessions (ugh).

4. You always initiate the conversation-and it falls flat.

Typically, if you toss the conversational ball, an interested potential partner will catch and throw it back. But a swing and a miss-several times over-could signal trouble, says Christie Tcharkhoutian, PhD, LMFT, a Los Angelesbased senior matchmaker with the matchmaking service .

"If you are always the one texting or calling your potential significant other, and their responses are one-sided and closed rather than engaging and asking you more questions, they may be trying to slow fade away from you," she explains. Take a look at your most recent convo, and if you're swimming in blue (or green) texts, it's probably best to move on.

5. Youre not a priority.

Slow faders will keep you around, but they wont prioritize you. Maybe its because they dont want to have no one ("People dont like to be alone," Forness says); maybe its because you seem like someone they should be dating.

Either way, their energy is spent elsewhere. "Because of apps, everyone knows theres about 200 other people they could probably go out with," Forness says. "The person [the slow fader has] chemistry with is going to get priority."

6. Your gut tells you theyre distancing themselves.

The whole art of the slow fade is that it can be easily chalked up to something else: a vacation, new job, or illness that understandably makes dating less of a priority. So determining whether youre dealing with a slow fader or a genuinely busy (or just flaky) person mostly comes down to your gut, Bruneau says. "When you start to notice a shift in energy, you're probably right."

Okay, you're getting slow faded. Now what?

Stop chasing him or her and wait to be chased, experts say. "If they truly are not slow fading, they will reach out or try to connect at some point in some way," Tcharkhoutian says. At that point, feel free to say something like, "If you want to keep your VIP texting privileges, you need to ask me out in the next 24 hours" or some other concrete time frame, Forness suggests. That's a bold move, sure, but at least you'll (finally) get a straight answer.

If they dont reach back out, "they are accepting the reality that you may be The One That Gets Away," Tcharkhoutian says. If theyre cool with that, you dont want to be with them, anyway.

Its also relationship expertapproved to confront the slow fader as soon as you sense that shift in energy or responsiveness. Forness suggests saying something like, "I feel like youre pulling away-do you need some space or more time?" If the answer is yes, honor that. Smothering someone who moves at a different pace never works. Plus, its important to maintain your own identity and interests while dating, Forness says. "The other person should be like dessert," she explains. "You are the main course."

\"The other person should be like dessert. You are the main course.\"

However, if the slow fade triggers a disinterest on your end (fair), confront the person by noting the shift in communication, what that signals to you, and why youre not into that, Tcharkhoutian says.

For example: "Hey, Ive noticed that your communication has decreased a lot, and you take a long time to respond. I think that may mean youre no longer interested in seeing where things go, and Im looking for a relationship thats built on honesty, communication, and respect. I wish you the best."

Boom. You're free to find someone who's actually worth your time.