She was so sweet about it, offering a polite laugh before moving down the carpet, while I apologized in her wake, listening to what I swear were people laughing. Id guess theres a 0.000001 percent chance this celeb remembers our snotty interaction. Im mature enough to acknowledge that it wasnt a big deal (thank you, hand sanitizer), nor did it affect my job. Yet, years later, the encounter pops into my head when I least expect it: mid-workout, lying in bed at night, on a long flight, you name it.

Cringe attacks are normalbut you can break out of the cycle.

My tale paints a classic cringe attack: a humiliating recollection that tends to appear randomly while youre just trying to go about your day. But why do these flashbacks surface without warning and make you feel downright ill days, even years, later?

The answer: Because of the way the brain processed them at the time, we give them more attention than they deserve, says Jennifer Wild, DClinPsy, an associate professor of experimental psychology at the University of Oxford in England. We focus on the worst parts and on palpable emotions (self-consciousness, in this case), rather than writing the misstep off as a blip.

The reason the thoughts throw you unwanted surprise parties is a little less clear. It could be that something in your environment triggers the memory for you, or that another event or feeling brings it back up, says Virginia Sturm, PhD, an associate professor of neurology and psychiatry at the UCSF Memory and Aging Center.

Recalling these fumbles kills your confidence, at least temporarily, so I asked the pros how to press pause. Fab news: The techniques ahead are simpler than you think.

Relive the entire memorynot just the worst part you keep focusing in on.

Just like you take artistic liberties when you belt out your favorite tunes, so, too, do you do with ugly past events, zeroing in on certain details. And when we dwell, its typically on the worst thing, and its biased, Wild says. You need to help your brain process the occurrence the way it truly went down by recalling the little realities you disregarded at the time. For instance, think about the fact that some people around you didnt notice.

Put it in perspective.

Our gut reaction is to suppress the memories, but that has a rebound effect: Experiments have shown that if you try not to think of polar bears, you will think of polar bears, says Sturm. Instead, play back the whole scene so you dont always stop at the most terrifying point, Wild says. Said something awkward at a party? Tell yourself, Yep, that was an odd moment, but I also had great conversations and went home feeling that I had a good time.

Look for the silver lining.

Put a fresh spin on your track. Reframing questionable experiences in a positive lightthat they made you seem more human and approachablecan make these moments less cringeworthy, says Sturm. With this useful strategy, known as cognitive reappraisal, you recast an emotional situation and tell yourself it actually wasnt such a bad thing to have experienced, says Matthew Feinberg, PhD, an assistant professor at the Rotman School of Management at the University of Toronto.

Let me try it: Yeah, my snot-bomb sucked at the time, but Im sure my visibly upset reaction suggested to the celeb-who-must-not-be-named that I felt regretful about making her uncomfortable, and thats a solid message to send.

Remind yourself you're in a different place now.

This mental trick is all about breaking the link between what happened back then and where youre currently at by calling out the contrasts, Wild explains. Lets say you keep shivering about a mediocre work presentation you gave last week. Your then-and-now might go something like this: That was then, and my boss didnt give me bad feedback even though it felt really awkward. Now, I dont have a presentation coming up, and if I did, I would prepare differently. On the whole, my boss thinks highly of me.

Aw, youre making me blush! All those times your cheeks went warm after a screw-up? Its a testament to the fact that youre a good person, studies show. People who express feelings of mortification are viewed by others as generous, kind, and moral, says Matthew Feinberg, PhD, who researches embarrassment and social perception. By showing this feeling, you are letting others know that you have no intention of being someone who disrupts the social order, he says. So go aheadbask in your abashment.

WH Eds Share Their Cringe-Worthy Moments They Can't Stop Replaying On Repeat

• In college I ran into my track coach, and I thought he was going to say, How are you? Instead, he said, Whats the good word? I blurted, Good!and wanted to die.Kristin Canning, associate editor

• I think back to a total tantrum I threw at age 8 when my parents wouldnt let me have a sleepover. I still feel cringe-y about it, and Im now in my 30s!Amanda Woerner, executive digital editor

• When I was 11, I got to sub into my first basketball game. Someone passed me the ball, and I made a layupinto the other teams hoop. I still wince about it 22 years later. Jordan Galloway, fitness director

• How I first farted in front of my now-BF of five years: He hugged me, and, well, I squeezed out a lot of gas. I still think about it because he brings it up often. Elizabeth Bacharach, assistant editor

This article originally appeared in the September 2019 issue of Women's Health.