Sarah Fielding

<p>Under regular circumstances, the pair are both based in New York City, just a few stops over the East River from each other. Now, Rhys has moved out of his law school dorm to complete online classes at his sisters apartment in Midtown Manhattan, and Maddi has gone home to Connecticut to work remotely surrounded by family. </p>

<p>We did not realize that we would not see each other again indefinitely until after we had both temporarily abandoned our living situations, Rhys says. Not knowing when I will see my significant other again is a tough pill to swallow, and it has taken from me the joy and excitement of seeing how our relationship would have continued to bloom under normal circumstances. </p>

<p>Self-isolation comes with a lot of challengesamong them, being separated from the people you love the most. We talked to couples who are quarantining separately for various reasons, some of whom have no idea when they'll be able to see each other in person again. And while they've found creative ways to stay connected, they explain the pain that has come along with it. </p>

<p>After 47 years of marriage, two children, and two grand-children, Rosie thought she and her husband Earl had experienced just about everything. But, after traveling with her daughter to the U.S. (theyre based in Canada), she now faces two weeks of isolation from him, unable to share a home with him for the first time in almost half a century. </p>

<p>The past few months, Earl was at Rosie's side helping her recuperate from a knee injurya fact that makes the distance even more obvious and painful. It's been a long battle with this knee thing getting better, so I was on crutches for months and he basically did everything for me," Rosie says. "Its not that I miss him more because he did everything for me, but because he's really taken care of me during this time."</p>

<p>, PsyD, clinical psychologist and author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084MP5188/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" id="7691f96c-0f15-3987-a49b-86767d82f886">  Connected &amp; Engaged </a> , says it's "a difficult time because of the uncertainty."</p>

<p>Humans love certaintywe think we must have it. But we dont," she says. "It just feels mighty good. And so we have to be able to recall the times we were with our partner and how they felt so good and know that we will have them again.</p>

<p>For Taha and his girlfriend Kelly, a bit of absence is the norm for themshes based in the U.S. and hes in Parisbut they typically see each other every six weeks for a chunk of time. Kelly was set to spend the month of April in Paris, until the spread of COVID-19 led to border closures. </p>

<p>I have no idea when Im going to see him again. His entire country is shut down," Kelly says. "The airline industry is taking massive hits right now, most international flights are cancelled, and thats something thats scary and hard to deal with, but were trying to keep things normal."</p>

<p>The distance was even more painful when Taha began experiencing a fever and couldnt get medical attention. Taha was never able to confirm if he had the novel coronavirus, as the high demand for tests has left them reserved for critical situations. </p>

<p>She was calling me every now and then to comfort me and to make me feel good, Taha says. Usually we speak when she is on her break from work. Im on sick leave for 15 days, so Im always available when she calls me. I hope we get through this and we will. To keep the mood light, they also send each other funny memes and videos. </p>

<p>If youre quarantining away from your partner, it can put a strain on an already stressful situation, says  , a certified mental health consultant and relationship expert. Be kind to yourself and be kind to each other during this time. Go easy on your partner and take extra care to give them the benefit of doubt when you feel conflict rising. This will not only help your relationship while in quarantine but will hopefully have lasting positive effects.</p>

<p>One way Taha and Kelly do this is by sharing prayers from their respective religions. Hes Muslim and Im pretty much Christian, so we send each other stuff to share about how to pray and that helps a lot during this time, Kelly says. Thats something we recently started doing and I enjoy that. The couple also plans to video chat with Kellys family, who shes currently staying with, to create a further sense of normalcy. </p>

<p>Sex and relationship therapist   suggests other couples take Kelly and Tahas lead. Include one another in your lives: share links to things you've seen, capture moments they might enjoy, or mail them a token of your affection, she says. Talk about things other than your distance or news updates. While being informed is important, hyper-focusing on data actually takes you out of the present moment or the development of your relationship.</p>

<p>While Taha and Kelly are familiar with distance, Matthias and Alex aren't. For the past three years of dating, they've gotten used to seeing each other at least once during the week and on most weekends. Now, hes in Jersey City, shes in Brooklyn, and they're no longer able to see each other in person: Matthias lives with his dad, whos in his early 60s, and Alexs roommate still has to go in for work every day. </p>

<p>The sense of collective responsibility, and weight of personal guilt, for other peoples lives, my dads included, was enough to not relocate and encourage Alex to do the same, Matthias says. </p>

<p>They're used to FaceTiming each other, but now that it's their main way of communicating with everyone in their lives, it's starting to feel repetitive. I think it has made me a bit tired of the format of remote communication, because it's happening more often with more people and it's less specific to our relationship, Matthias says. I freelance and I am usually by myself, working alone and not talking to anybody, except for Alex. There's some fatigue with talking to more people at times that I usually have to myself, or just me and Alex. I miss being in a room with Alex and nobody assuming where I am or that I'm free to talk. </p>

<p>Alex feels the same. A few times, there hasn't really been much to say anyway, since neither of us has been doing much during the dayor we've already rehashed the details of the day four times to four other people and are just kind of over it," she says. "We're trying to figure out other ways to engage with each other. Some days we've FaceTimed while doing other stuff on our own just to feel connected in that way, but it can't compare. </p>

<p>It's important to communicate these kinds of struggles, Barber saysand it may even strengthen your relationship. If you and your partner are in quarantine separately, take it as an opportunity to reassess your boundaries and improve your communication, she says. Speak to each other about your current needs, and how you would like them to be fulfilled given the current situation."</p>

<p>As for communication, Rosie says FaceTime has helped her feel connected to Earl as he rides out the quarantine period at their younger daughter's place. The difference between just talking on the phone and actually seeing the person's faceit really helps to connect you. </p>

<p>Sometimes, it can also make her worried: There was a day or two when he wasn't feeling as great, and you can see it," she says. "It's one thing when you talk to somebody and they try and sort of fool you into thinking they're doing fine. But, when you're using FaceTime, you can really see how that person's doing.</p>

<p>Francis suggests using FaceTime to maintain "some degree of normalcy" during these times: "If you had usual routines with one anothergoing to bed together, sharing a meal, or watching a television showwork to preserve these rituals as ways to stay connected.</p>

<p>For Rosie and Earl, this means connecting around dinner, as well as engaging in digital group activities. A favorite of theirs is the Facebook group "Choir Choir Choir," where people can sing along to songs in real-time virtually. Rosie and Earl participate with FaceTime open, as a way to feel like theyre still doing it together. </p>

<p>Rhys and Maddi now rely on texts, phone calls, video chats, and silly Snapchats to strengthen and grow their relationship from afar. We are fortunate to both have great communication skills, and even though he is not physically with me right nowour relationship is based on trust," Maddie says. "I can honestly say that we can weather any storm as long as we continue to communicate and support one another during this difficult time. </p>

<p>Thanks to technology, Rhys feels like they're "far apart, but never distant."</p>

<p>"We text throughout the day, take moments to call each other between pajama-clad bouts with work, and take great strides to stay finely attuned to the stresses each other feels," he says. "For that feeling of security and support, I cannot be grateful enough.</p>

Quarantine Is Keeping These Couples Apart

When Rhys started dating Maddi in January, he had certain expectations about what hurdles they may have to face: different values; backgrounds; maybe some scheduling issues. He definitely wasn't expecting a global pandemic.

These Quarantining Couples Don't Know When They'll See Each Other Again

<p>Due to the negative impact its had in her past relationships, shes actively chosen to keep social media out of this one. After having an especially bad partner, she found it hard to trust people and used social media as a way to keep tabs on themto an unhealthy extent. </p>

<p>Ive let social media affect my relationships in the past, Niamh says. Ive repeatedly checked what and who theyve liked and followed on Instagram to make myself feel bad about my appearance and who I am, or brought things up to cause arguments. </p>

<p>Ever since the term Facebook official entered mainstream consciousness, social media has been a billboard for couples to showcase their relationship and prove how much they love each other. While there are advantages to social media in a relationshipsuch as keeping in touch long distanceit also has the potential to create a lot of pressure and negatively impact self-esteem and trust. </p>

<p>If there are existing pressures in your relationship, social media can heighten issues of mistrust, provide more opportunities for miscommunication, or encourage folks to be disingenuous and hide behind well-staged photos or vague emojis, relationship therapist, educator, and author   tells Mens Health.</p>

<p>It may seem harsh to unfollow your partner, or to never follow them in the first placearen't you supposed to follow people you like?but for many couples, it's proven to be a healthy decision. </p>

<p>For Ian and Amber, who have been dating for five years, it wasnt a conscious choice not to follow each other on social mediathey just never happened to click the button. Over time, they realized that it was benefiting their relationship, and decided to stick with it. Amber views their social media as a space for both of them to post what they want; they can tell the other person about the things they share as they see fit. </p>

<p>I feel a lot of times you see that they posted something before they replied to you, and you get upsetor you can see they are online and still havent replied," she says. "I, for one, read way into things, so I would get mad or jealous over nothing. So if he thought something he shared was worth me seeing, hell show it to me in personand vice versa. </p>

Young couple text messaging on cell phones and ignoring each other.

<p>For couples that spend most of their time together, like Ian and Amber, social media can be a place for them to exist as a "me" rather than the "we" they usually are. Its kind of like our little escape from each other, because in a relationship you do need space and time apart, Amber says. This doesnt mean theyre using it as a space to flirt with other people or disrespect their relationshipit just acts as a digital room, of sorts, that is solely their space. </p>

<p>"There are a lot of reasons folks may choose not to follow each other that are not about the state of their relationship," Francis points out. "Our lives are already so constantly connected, social media may be one domain where folks can have some degree of separation. </p>

<p>For Jen*, who has been in an <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26111265/open-relationship-guide/" id="6d97e5da-3ce0-33bb-a4a7-087c1ad3a937">  open relationship </a> with her partner on and off for four years, following him on social media in the past has only added to her stress. Regardless of their chosen relationship dynamic, seeing pictures of him out with other girls didn't make her feel good. In the past year, she chose to unfollow himfor her well-being and the relationships. Instead, she has chosen to trust him to tell her anything she needs to know.</p>

<p>As long as there is a mutual respect and an adequate level of transparency, it can save the relationship a lot of unneeded tension, Jen says. And she's onto something: Realizing that youre reacting negatively to the other persons behavior or online persona is a very good reason to unfollow them, Francis explains.</p>

Comfortable homosexual couple using digital tablet and cell phone in bed

<h1> So should you keep social media out of your relationship? </h1>

<p>When deciding if you want to follow your significant other on social media, its important to honestly analyze yourself and your tendencies. If you find yourselves already jumping to conclusions, overanalyzing, or doubting your partner, consider taking it slowly when entering each others digital lives, Francis says. Talk about your questions or concerns without accusing or restricting. It may be worth establishing boundaries, expectations, and a foundation of trust before jumping into following one another.</p>

<p>Niamh saw herself doing those negative habits in the past, and didnt want to bring them into her new relationship. I wanted to learn to trust him rather than be constantly on high alert and looking for problems that werent there," she says. "It has really helped! I have never been happier or trusted someone more. And its also none of my business what he does on Instagram.</p>

<p>If you still choose to follow each other, that's okay too, says Maria Sullivan, dating expert and VP of  . At the end of the day, being able to spend time with your partner in person is what matters the most, says. If you are happy in your relationship and love being with your partner, if you follow them on social media or not shouldnt matter. If you choose not to follow your partner and they understand your reasons and respect them, that is whats important.</p>

For the past six months that Niamh has been with her boyfriend, shes done something others might find shocking in todays day and age: not follow him on social media.

Stop Following Your Significant Other on Social Media

<p>My quick stay sadly wasn't a fit for using it, but I was curious of this was a trend. I did some digging on hotel sex kits, and my mind was blown. From the to in Toronto, a number of hotels around the world are helping guests get off. <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a27498072/vacation-sex-destinations/" id="bb80a726-683c-3205-afd7-524679792c37">  Vacation sex is some of the best sex there is </a> , and this takes it to a whole new level.</p>

<p>The Drake, for one, provides a " <a href="http://www.thedrake.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/drakepleasuremenuxo1.pdf" id="fd4f5c87-799b-3305-a096-8a30399dc35b">  Pleasure Menu </a> " with 14 sexy items for sale, including bondage tape, a silk blindfold, a butt plug, a <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Je-Joue-Rabbit-Independent-Patterns/dp/B007IE54P2?th=1" id="9ef94a2a-ff85-3ece-a5d7-374a1f92c0d1">  Je Joue Fifi rabbit vibrator </a> , and a <a href="https://www.amazon.com/We-Vibe-Classic-Couples-Vibrator-Purple/dp/B013HWDEVO" id="90cfb609-ad8e-3955-ab55-b7a34afa6eea">  We-Vibe Classic </a> . The offerings have been "very popular since their inception," Ana Yuristy, executive director of corporate services at , tells Mens Health. "Having them available to hotel guests certainly helps set the mood, whether you are the more adventurous type or just being introduced to some of these offerings for the first time.</p>

<p>Yuristy says the Pleasure Menu is currently in its third iteration"and, in my opinion, the very best yet in terms of inclusiveness and satisfying a diverse range of bodies and sexual interests."</p>

<p>Some hotel sex kits are elaborate, like the Drake's, while others contain just the essentials. <a href="https://www.newindulgence.com/" id="bb69afcc-364b-3df4-afdd-d486d75997c1">  New Indulgence </a> , a company that supplies sex kits to 1 Hotels, MGM Resorts International, Dream Hotels, Gansevoort Hotels + Resorts, and more, offers two kinds: an "emergency" kit with condoms and lube, and a more advanced one, like the one in my room at the Jeremy Hotel. Barb Greiert, the owner of New Indulgence, says the advanced kits are more popular in hotels.</p>

<p>"Emergency-type kits don't sell as well in hotels because the only people who purchase them are guests who use, and apparently ran out of, condoms, Greiert tells Men's Health. However, if a kit has condoms plus fun items for couplesmini vibrators, couple's vibrating rings, blindfolds, etc.then just about any couple might enjoy the kit."</p>

<p>Not every hotel is as sexually liberal as the Drake, with its 14-item Pleasure Menu. In Greiert's experiences, some hotels are down to stock the "emergency" kits, but take a hard pass on selling the more advanced options. In the same city, one hotel might have a more conservative clientele and another might have more provocative guests," she says. "Therefore, we need to offer custom kits that fit the hotel brand and their guests."</p>

<p>So should you try out a sex kit? I mean, why not? For starters, you'll save room in your suitcaseand avoid a potentially awkward TSA encounterif you can leave your own sex toy collection at home. ("Excuse me sir, is that a sharp object in your bag, or are you just bringing a vibrator on vacation?") Plus, it's an opportunity to branch outside of your usual toys and try some new things with ease. Embrace it! (New Indulgence's sex kits even have eco-friendly packagingthe one in my room at the Jeremy had packaging made from post-consumer waste.)</p>

<p>Greiert claims that hotel managers report sex kits to be among their top-earning mini-bar items, so if you choose to indulge, you certainly won't be alone. </p>

A few months ago, I spent the night at the Jeremy Hotel, now the <a href="https://www.1hotels.com/west-hollywood" id="ba1c7356-f567-3915-a367-c48cca1891da">  1 Hotel West Hollywood </a> . After checking into my room, I was equal parts surprised and intrigued by one of the offerings in the mini-bar: a sex kit. We're talking couple's vibrating <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19532760/cock-rings/" id="36aa9c52-bc1c-3072-abb5-e1d278955a22">  cock ring </a> , <a href="https://www.me...

This Hotel Has a 'Pleasure Menu' With Sex Toys for Sale

<h1>  For Frequent Fliers:    Cotton Sleep Mask   </h1>

<p>Hands down, the worst thing about eye masks is the tight band around your head while you try to fall asleep. Well say goodbye to that headache, with the adjustable  <strong> Cotton Sleep Mask Blackout </strong> . Regardless of face size, the mask fits you instead of you having to squeeze into it. Designed with 100% handmade cotton, its soft on your face and lightweight, ensuring youre totally comfortable. Put it on and youll forget youre even on a plane. Before you know it, youll have arrived, well rested. $24.95</p>

<h1>  For Germaphobes: Slip King Pillowcase  </h1>

<p>Your hotels pillow cases should be perfectly clean, its not a bad idea to bring your own. Not only will the  <strong> Slip King Pillowcase </strong>  take up minimal space in your suitcase, but its also designed to be anti-bed-head, meaning your hair wont be sticking in all sorts of directions come morning. (Before you even get to your hotel, you can also use it on the airplane pillow!) Soon, all youll need to feel at home on-the-go is knowing this pillowcase is nearby, waiting for your jet-lagged self to crash onto. $125.99</p>

<h1>  For Light Travelers: Fleece-Lined Throw Blanket  </h1>

<p>If youre going to buy a product thats useful during any type of travel, this is it. The  <strong> Voited CloudTouch Travel Pillow Blanket  </strong> is perfect for the plane, a hotel, or even road-tripping. So much more than a blanket, this fleece-lined throw can transform into a pillow, then wraps up into a carrying sack for easy portability. Water-resistant and insulated, its designed to keep you warm in temperatures as low as 46 degrees Fahrenheit. $139</p>

<h1>  For the Most Versatility: Povinmost Travel Pillow  </h1>

<p>Perfect for anyone in a middle seat, the  <strong> Inflatable Travel Pillow Sleep Aid </strong>  rests on your lap. Inflating with just three or four breaths for easy use, the pillow is adjustable to fit anyone. Even when youre leaning forward, the pillow supports your upper body, preventing sore joints later on. When its time to disembark, simply press the pillow once to deflate it. I wish I had this the last time I was stuck in the middle for an overnight flight! $22.99</p>

<h1>  For Early Adapters: Huzi Infinity Pillow  </h1>

<p>The traditional neck pillow is out, and in comes the  <strong> Huzi Infinity Pillow </strong> , a convertible wrap pillow you can configure for any sleeping position. Made of high-quality bamboo fabric, this hypoallergenic pillow can support your head, neck, back, or legs. But possibly the best part is that itll stop crying babies from disturbing your sleep. How? Its also noise-cancelling! Not sure if its the right pillow for you? Check out the positioning diagrams, and youll wonder how you ever lived without it. $39.99</p>

Traveling is fun and exciting. Youre getting a chance to see new places, try new food, and maybe experience a new culture. The downside to travel: not sleeping in your own bed. We take a comfortable nights sleep for granted at home but, when it comes to travel, you may be stressed, knowing how hard it is to get a good nights sleep. Well, its time to put your worries to bed (pun intended). If you want to sleep well while youre traveling-yes, even on the plane-these are the products you need.

The Best Gear to Help You Sleep While Traveling

<p>It's a beautiful thing! Whatever your partner's gender is, nothing compares to the rush of having someone love you so much, they ask you to spend your life with them. To prove it to you, we asked three men what it felt like to be proposed to, and how people reacted to it. (Plus, one of their fiances told us why she decided to pop the question.) </p>

<p>We met while I was backpacking in Europe. I was in France and we were introduced through mutual friends. It didn't take us very long before we knew we wanted to spend our lives together and we talked about it a lot. I went to Paris for the holidays. It had been four months since I'd seen her and I was planning on us going out to dinner at the restaurant where we had our first date and I was gonna propose there on the second day.</p>

<p>"I get to Paris on the first day and at our Airbnb she came out with this cute little white mug with painted blue waves on it. I could tell it was kind of unique but my first thought was just that it was a unique mug that was in the Airbnb. Then I took a sip from it and at the bottom I see something drawn in it. I looked at it another second and I saw that it was two little penguins, which were a call back to something in our relationship, and written above the penguins she hand-painted into the mu:, 'Will you marry me?' I looked up to her in shock and disbelief, like, is this real? I was just blown away and happy with it and overjoyed. It just made me so happy. </p>

<p>"Most of the time when I tell girls about it they're like, wow she's so cool, what a badass. Honestly, the funniest reactions are from the guys because I get so many guys who are much more traditional, alpha-male, masculine, types of guys who I tell and they're concerned for me. They say things like, 'How did you feel about that? I haven't met any other guys who've been proposed to by a girl.' -Aaron, 23</p>

<p>I got proposed to when I was 21. I was taking a short nap before we were heading out to an anniversary dinner and when I woke up, my fianc was down on one knee with a Tiffanys ring box opened in his hand. As I groggily woke up, I felt the ring being placed on my finger already. It was an exciting experience, even though we arent together anymore. I didnt know it was coming but I felt excited and I couldnt wait to tell my close friends/cousins. I couldnt tell my parents as, at the time, they didnt know I was gay. </p>

<p>"Since Im gay, it wasnt a foreign concept to be proposed to as a man, but it sure brought on (along with the excitement) the stress of, How am I going to tell my parents? Will they come to the wedding? Some of these questions still cross my mind as Im not married yet, but thankfully, at least my parents know now. -Umair, 32</p>

Gay Men Exchanging Rings At Wedding Ceremony

<h1>  3. She Enlisted Their Daughters to Help With the Surprise  </h1>

<p>She asked me if I wanted to take a walk down the beach and then turned me around when I started in the wrong direction. As we rounded a tree, I saw my brother posed with his camera and the girls standing there. I thought they were doing some kind of photo shoot and turned to take a picture of the scenery. So, once I ventured into reality, the girls both read letters that they had written about how important I was to them, and what I had meant to them so far. Afterwards, Jamie proposed, and of course I accepted! </p>

<p>"Jamie had talked it over with the girls, and when they were excited about it, she brought the idea to my parents. They picked out a ring and started laying plans. They kept everything quiet, even sneaking things like rose petals into the suitcases. It wasn't just breaking with societal norms, it was also making it all happen they way it did. The tree we stood by was chosen because I had pointed out because of how amazing it was. </p>

<p>"While the proposal was beautiful, everything that has happened since then has been even more amazing. I've seen so many women brought to tears as Jamie tells them the story. We've heard so much from parents that have shared the story with their daughters. I can clearly see that we're ready for more change and the fact that my family took such a big step is truly beautiful. -Chris, 43</p>

<p><strong> Why Jamie Proposed To Chris: </strong></p>

<p>I have two girls and wanted to show them that its OK to go after the things you want, even if its the man you love and its not traditional to propose. So, the three of us planned a proposal in Hawaii on the beach. We ask permission from his parents and picked out the ring together. It was beautiful and he was definitely surprised and absolutely loved that we did it. I have no regrets! - Jamie, 42</p>

3 Men on What It Was Like to Get Proposed To

From romantic movies to jewelry store ads, it's clear that we, as a society, are pretty set on the idea that a man has to ask a woman to marry him. But when it comes to relationships, traditional gender roles are becoming blurred, and more and more guys are finding themselves on the receiving end of a proposal. (This <a href="https://newsroom.pinterest.com/en/post/whats-hap-pin-in-newsletter-december-18" id="cd86014b-6fa3-3fe0-adfa-a1b3a8f9c576">  2018 Pinterest report </a> found that searche...

3 Guys on What It's Like to Be on the Receiving End of a Proposal

<p>Spending one amazing night with someone youve just met can be such a release. The great thing about a one night stand is how it just exists in that one time. You feel free to experience the moment, knowing no future meeting will ever taint it. </p>

<p>Maybe youve been nervous to have a one night stand, worrying about what it would be like to sleep with someone you just met. Looking for some encouragement before your next spontaneous hookup? Check out these guys' stories of their best one night stands. </p>

<p>I had been chatting to this girl on Tinder when I was visiting Brisbane for a few days before flying to Melbourne. She randomly text me as I was out walking in the evening asking if I wanted to come over so I said yes. She picked me up in an Uber and we grabbed a few beers and chilled at hers. Turns out 'hers' is actually her cousins and his wifes. They have four dogs so I got to chill with them, the girl and some beer-was awesome. Went back to her room, as it was getting late, and all the good bits happened. The next morning I end up sitting in the dining room with the girl, 4 dogs and the cousin and his wife eating a full English breakfast they made specially for me (Im from England originally)-a nice little bit of home away from home. -Mike, 24</p>

<h1>  2. She Picked Him Up in a Hotel Lobby  </h1>

<p>"My best one night stand also includes my favorite pick up line. I was on the road, and an amazing girl walked up to me in the hotel lobby (with her three friends behind her watching her hit on me all excited and giggling) and starts up conversation. I wasn't even thinking about sex or anything at the time, so it didn't really register to me what was going on until she says, I've always wondered what the rooms look like in this hotel. Even then it took me a few seconds and then the lightbulb went off and in my head I was like, Oh, so that's what's going on right now. Stellar line. Needless to say with a creative personality like that, the rest of the night was fun. Really fun. Hmmm, I wonder what that girl is doing now?" -Anand, 43</p>

<h1>  3. They Were Together in the Middle of Nowhere   </h1>

<p>I was on an island in Vietnam for three days with no reception. Everyone was canoeing, swimming, and then drinking at night. I was dancing to this DJ and didnt know where my friends were when I met this Irish girl. We went skinny dipping and as we moved algae glowed in the water. It was so cool. We moved to secluded chairs on the beach after that. Then the next day we left the island and I never saw her again. Such a memorable night. -Thomas, 21</p>

<h1>  4. An Amazing Night Following by an Amazing Breakfast  </h1>

<p>I met a girl at a bar and we want back to my place, had an amazing night and when I woke up she had made an amazing breakfast (restaurant-quality) and then I left and I never saw her again. -John, 28</p>

<p>At 20 I had just gotten out of a multi-year relationship with my high school sweetheart. I hadn't really figured out how to date as an adult yet, so I hadn't had sex in over nine months. A friend's band needed a fill-in bass player for a mini-tour of California. I invited a high school friend to our show in Oakland. She came and brought a friend. Not thinking I had any chance with her, I was completely loose. We went out dancing after the show and had a blast. She and I danced up on a pedestal together. We were cracking each other up with jokes all night and clearly had a connection, but I thought we were just having fun.</p>

<p>"Next thing I know, we're making out in a car while being driven home. We hooked up that night and again in the morning. While the band went sightseeing during the day, we basically pretended like we were in a relationship. We made a nice breakfast together and did homework together (we were both in college). I treasure the day we spent together. We were so comfortable and relaxed together, the sex was amazing, and the whole experience was just what I needed to get my confidence back. -Jason, 35</p>

When sharing our one night stand stories, we tend to go for the bad, <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26837481/gross-sex-stories/" id="2a6c2b29-8012-3d45-ab91-f236b852e5d9">  messy </a> , or <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26895811/embarrassing-sex-stories/" id="f14a13c5-9ea6-354c-a083-f868efe73da0">  funny moments </a> . Everyone has had their share of awkward and uncomfortable hook-ups, and it can be nice to bond over those weird nights. But sometimes we get so ...

5 Men on the Best One Night Stands They've Ever Had

<p>As with anything your partner is going through, the more you understand it, the better you can help. If youre not familiar, vaginismus is muscle spasms around the vagina which literally tighten the vagina, making penetration for sex very uncomfortable,  , M.D. OB/GYN at Yale University tells Mens Health. </p>

<p>These spasms are completely out of your partners control. </p>

<p>It's not something that the woman is trying to do-in fact, she's trying not to tense up, but it's almost as if her body isn't allowing her,"  , MD, an OB/GYN at Stanford University, tells Mens Health. "It's almost an anxiety disorder of the pelvis. [As a woman], your head is saying yes, your vagina is saying no. And it's not just the vaginal muscles, it's the muscles of the legs, it's the muscles of the abdomen."</p>

<p>For a woman, the process to overcome it can feel incredibly frustrating and uncontrollable. Treatment for vaginismus can involve dilators, pelvic floor therapy, and, potentially, cognitive behavior therapy. As their partner, knowing as much as you can about the condition, and being there when they need you, can make a big difference. So, lets get you educated and ready to help. This is what you need to know if your partner has been diagnosed with vaginismus. </p>

<h1>  Vaginismus is caused environmentally  </h1>

<p>There are so many different causes for vaginismus. Sadly, vaginismus is generally caused due to your partner experiencing some sort of trauma or forced association with sex. </p>

<p>There are many reasons a woman may have vaginismus, Minkin says. She may have had a bad vaginal infection at one point, and was very uncomfortable from it-and the memory of that pain lingers, and she continues to tighten when she even thinks of penetration with sex. She may have been sexually assaulted at one point, and she [goes] back to thoughts about that assault when she is thinking about sex. She may have been taught for whatever reason that sex is sinful or evil, and she thinks about it, and tightens up. </p>

<p>She may not be willing to discuss possible causes with you, and you need to respect that. Cognitive behavior therapy can help her work through these issues when shes ready.</p>

<h1>  The best thing you can have is patience  </h1>

<p>Remember, your partner is currently having an involuntary reaction to sex. Vaginismus is not something that is going to go away overnight with therapy ... patience is a virtue in this one, Millheiser says. If you think about it, that woman wants nothing more than to be intimate with her partner, and it's almost as if she feels like she's lost control over her vagina during sex. Now, this therapy is allowing her to gain control back. It's just remembering to be supportive. Follow her lead. </p>

<h1>  You can help her with physical therapy  </h1>

<p>If youre partner would like, try to help her with her physical therapy exercises. This may include <a href="https://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/patient-education/how-use-vaginal-dilator" id="5dafeb47-ab4a-3a8d-a7b9-9f926c575666">  dilator therapy </a> , which involves inserting cylindrical devices into the vagina to help stretch it out.</p>

<p>It's very important for the partner to be involved with the dilator therapy. They can use dilators and eventually move to fingers and eventually do more, Dr. Millheiser says. Again, that allows the woman to become comfortable with her partner, taking control again. It does breed intimacy, too. When you're doing dilator therapy with your partner, you can turn it into more of a foreplay type scenario, but making sure that the woman is the guiding force. </p>

<p>Ask her what angle you should insert it, how far, and at what speed. Little by little, you two can work through this together. </p>

<h1>  She needs support, not pressure  </h1>

<p>The most important thing you can do for your partner is be supportive and listen to her needs. </p>

<p>Be encouraging. I hear this a lot from my female patients: 'My husband or my boyfriend every day is saying, Have you done your dilators? Have you done your dilators?' Millheiser says. So put less focus on 'did you do it?' and more on 'what can I do to help you? You guide me, you tell me how you need me to help you with this, I'm here for you, I understand.'</p>

<h1>  You can still be intimate in many ways  </h1>

<p>Just because you cant have sex right now, doesnt mean you cant be physical. Remember that intimacy can and should continue during treatment. You can still do everything but, and I encourage it, Millheiser says. </p>

<p>At some point, when the smaller dilators start to become more comfortable, and the woman can use them without difficulty, then I definitely recommend that she and her partner incorporate those dilators into foreplay, into sexual activity," Millheiser adds. "You can use fingers, you can use dilators. That allows the woman to become more comfortable. </p>

<p>Together, try to look at this as a chance to think outside the box when it comes to pleasure. </p>

<h1>  You may experience some dysfunction as well  </h1>

<p>Theres a good chance you tried for quite some time to have sex before getting medical help. </p>

<p>What ends up happening is sometimes the male can experience a little bit of erectile dysfunction because they've been trying and trying, and he eventually loses his erection. Sometimes that can turn psychological for the man, Millheiser says. </p>

<p>Any guy it that position "definitely should speak to his doctor about that, a urologist or a primary care doctor to address what his needs may be, she says. Its not uncommon for this to occur, and shouldnt be a cause for worry.</p>

Let love be your greatest source of support

<h1>  Talking things out with a sex therapist can help  </h1>

<p>Your dysfunction can come as a surprise. While speaking to a urologist or primary is important, a sex therapist may also help you move through this problem. </p>

<p>In relationships, understanding and communication is the most important part,  , M.D., MBA, OB/GYN and member of HealthyWomen's Women's Health Advisory Council, tells Mens Health. For men, communicating through a sex therapist is often helpful to address the psychosocial issues that may affect sexual intimacy.</p>

If Your Partner Has Vaginismus, Read This

Have you and your partner tried to have penetrative sex, but it is incredibly painful for her? Do all angles seem to have the same result? While there are quite a few things that can <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a25750428/pain-during-sex-expert-advice/" id="c94c1da9-0d9e-362e-a8c3-1bd36b97d0e1">  make sex painful for a woman </a> , if this is a consistent problem, then she might have vaginismus, a treatable but frightening condition that makes sex pretty much unbearable for a...

Here's What to Know About Vaginismus—and What to Do if Your Partner Has It

<p>So, what is endometriosis? According to the  , Endometriosis is a disorder in which tissue, known as the endometrium, that should line the inside of the uterus, grows outside of it instead. It works as it normally would during a menstrual cycle, thickening, breaking down and then bleeding. The problem? The tissue has no way to leave the body and becomes trapped, causing extreme pain in most cases. </p>

<p>With pain already being a normal byproduct of a period, many women dismiss the extreme pain, believing its normal. In doing so, other symptoms that occur can be confusing and potentially alarming. </p>

<p>For instance, when it comes to sex, endometriosis can bring on immense pain for a woman. On top of that, there are all kinds of symptoms that may manifest uncontrollably. As their partner, being educated about endometriosis can show not only that you care, but allow you to be prepared when they bring it up. Or maybe youre having casual sex with someone and notice one of these things. While you shouldnt assume they have endometriosis, a background in it may still provide a better experience for both of you. So, ready to learn? This is what you should know before having sex with someone with endometriosis. </p>

<h1>  She may be pretty dry down there.  </h1>

<p>A woman with endometriosis may not get as wet as other women when turned on. If women are on medications that cause decrease in estrogen, it may contribute to vaginal dryness so it is totally fine to use lubricant to help decrease any irritation during intercourse. , OB/GYN, tells Mens Health. <a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a20062519/lubricant-during-sex/" id="b0ab8472-a132-3f94-a6b5-95f16fef4fde">  Stock up on lube </a> , and youll be good to go.</p>

<h1>  Missionary may be extremely painful.  </h1>

<p>Everyones favorite fall-back position may be a no-go in this case. The old-fashioned missionary position is the most painful-the uterus is tilted to your back (at its most posterior aspect), so it hurts the most,  , an obstetrician-gynecologist and chief of reproductive medicine and in vitro fertilization at Massachusetts General Hospital Fertility Center told  . If you both like missionary, try propping up her pelvis with a pillow to change the angle a bit. </p>

<h1>  You may have to test out different positions.  </h1>

<p>Not that anyones ever complained about exploring new positions, but certain angles may be a lot better for her than others. Sometimes trying new positions can also help as pain can be in certain locations more than others and penetration can be more painful in varying positions, Dr. Shepherd says. </p>

<h1>  There may be some vaginal bleeding after sex.  </h1>

<p>Sex and orgasms place strain on the vulnerable tissue created by endometriosis,   reports. As a result, its not uncommon for a woman to experience some bleeding after sex. If this occurs she may feel-well-really embarrassed. Staying calm and showing your understanding of what shes going through is key. If its a common occurrence, placing a towel down ahead of time may be a good idea. </p>

<h1>  Certain times in her cycle may be more painful.  </h1>

<p>Yes, having sex at different times of the month can actually make a huge difference. Intercourse may be less painful at certain times during your menstrual cycle, says Petrozza. The time right after her period until she ovulates tends to be the best for sex. </p>

<h1>  She probably knows what works best for her.  </h1>

<p>Odds are, shes been dealing with the symptoms of endometriosis for a long time. If shes been sexually active, then shes aware of which occur for her, as well as what feels best for her. Listen to her and ask questions. She may be embarrassed a little by bleeding or other things. Support and understanding deepens the intimacy and connection between you and your partner. Being there for her and acknowledging what shes going through is the best thing you can do. </p>

Theres no sugar-coating it: endometriosis sucks. If your partner has it, not only can it make her periods more painful, but it can also seriously screw your sex life (pun intended). For many women, endometriosis can be an uncomfortable subject to discuss, as they themselves may not fully understand it or have a clear diagnosis.

How to Have Great Sex When Your Partner Has Endometriosis

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