&w=64&q=75)
- Kanze Dena shares her experience of motherhood and the impact of her upbringing on her parenting approach
- She talks about her strained relationship with her strict mother and the fear she felt when she became pregnant out of wedlock
- Kanze initially planned for adoption but an unexpected turn of events at the hospital led to her keeping the baby
Former Government spokesperson Kanze Dena has shared her poignant motherhood journey, discussing the profound impact of her upbringing and her commitment to parenting differently.
In a revealing interview with Parents Magazine, Kanze opened up about the complex relationship with her mother and how it shaped her approach to raising her children.
Kanze Dena reveals challenges she faced due to her mum's strict parenting
Kanze’s relationship with her mother was strained due to the stringent parenting style she experienced growing up.
"The reason why my relationship with my mom was not good was because she came from strict parenting. Her parents were harsh. So automatically that's how my mother interpreted motherhood. Even her sisters were the same," Kanze explained.
Kanze Dena talks about her 1st pregnancy & FAILED adoption
Kanze recalled her first pregnancy, which came after she had completed high school and was preparing for college.
The fear of her mother's reaction to her pregnancy out of wedlock led her to make a heartbreaking decision. "As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I was like, 'ngai, woi' I'm going to die. I will be killed," she recounted.
To avoid stigma and her family’s judgment, she initially decided not to keep the baby, planning for adoption instead.
READ: Kanze Dena & Nick Mararo celebrate 5th wedding anniversary
The process of giving up her baby was set, but an unexpected turn of events at the hospital changed everything. "During adoption, they don't like to give you the baby, because it creates a bond," Kanze noted.
However, due to a mix-up at the hospital, the newborn was handed to her, sparking immediate maternal feelings that complicated her plans.
"I was thinking to my mind, now what's happening, creating a bond with this child, I don't want this child, I've not done any shopping, I was already set in my mind how I was going to give away this baby," she shared, laughing about the difficult moment.
Kanze Dena's new approach to parenting
Today, Kanze is a mother of two and strives to foster a relationship with her children that is based on understanding and open communication.
"Me and my son Nathaniel are friends. It’s also the same relationship I am trying to have with my four-year-old," she said.
Her parenting approach is direct and explanatory, ensuring there are no grey areas, which contrasts sharply with her own upbringing.
"Knowing that I was parented by my mother this way and this is what pushed me away or what made me rebellious, am trying to do it differently with my son. I listen and I say a categorical no. And I explain why. There are no grey areas," she said.
Kanze emphasised the importance of affirmation, even in the face of challenges. "If there’s one thing I have learned, it’s important to affirm even if it’s on the negative... Assure them of who they are because this challenges them to be better," she advised.
This philosophy stems from her desire to build confidence in her children, a trait she values more than academic success alone.
"I'd rather have a child who has confidence in who they are, because I have seen what lack of confidence can do, than one who has all the degrees but lacks confidence," she said.
Reflecting on her challenges with subjects like Math, Kanze mentioned, "I wasn’t good at Math, and they say genes follow. My baby daddy was also not good in Math, but our son is good in Math."