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Media personality and Gospel artist Kambua recently opened up about personal experience, sharing her journey of suffering a miscarriage.
The disclosure was part of her monologue series on her YouTube channel titled 'Being Kambua,' on Thursday.
Kambua not only recounted the painful experience but also touched on the stigma and challenges that often accompany such loss.
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Kambua talks about losing her firstborn
In her monologue, Kambua revealed that while many are aware of her three children—Nathaniel, her living daughter Natalie, and the late son Malachi—few knew that she had endured the loss of two more babies.
The artist felt that it was time to invite her audience into her world, sharing the untold stories of these two angel babies she holds in her heart.
"Most of you know that I have three children, Nathaniel, Malachi in heaven, and Natalie with me. But the truth is I actually have four children.
"This is something I have never shared with any of you before, but I think it is time to bring you into my world and tell you about two babies that I have in heaven and two that I get to take care of," she said.
Kambua's journey of hope & heartache
Kambua began her narrative by touching upon the emotional rollercoaster that couples experience when trying to conceive.
For those longing to start a family, every day on the calendar, every signal from their bodies, becomes a vital clue in their quest.
One day, the ex-Citizen TV host noticed a significant change—her period did not arrive as expected. Filled with hope, she visited a pharmacy to purchase three pregnancy tests of different brands.
"When you’re trying to have a baby you can attest to this, your calendar means everything. You listen to everything in your body. Sometimes you even think you're pregnant but you're not.
"This one time my period did not come. After two days I went to a chemist and bought three pregnancy tests of different brands just in case," she said.
She decided not to share this moment with anyone, not even her husband, to protect them from the potential pain of disappointment.
The positive result of one of the tests brought joy to Kambua's heart, as she realised she was pregnant for the first time in years.
She eagerly started her prenatal care, excited about the prospect of welcoming a new life into her family.
"I wasn’t gonna tell anybody not even my husband because I didn’t want to involve people in my disappointments. I could not believe it. For the first time in years, I had gotten a positive pregnancy test. I began my prenatal. Everything was going great," she said.
However, the journey took an unexpected and painful turn when Kambua began to experience excruciating hip pain. She was rushed to the hospital, and she was advised to drink plenty of water before undergoing a scan.
"Then just one day I began to feel pain in my hip. We went to the hospital…and I remember being told to drink a lot of water. I went into the scan. I remember she scanned for a while and said I want you to go and empty your bladder so we do another test," she said.
During the scan, the radiologist revealed devastating news—there was no heartbeat. Kambua's world crumbled in a matter of seconds. The miracle they had been yearning for had been taken away, leaving them in a sea of heartache.
"I remember the only thing she said was, Kambua am sorry but there’s no heartbeat… Everything had been taken away from me in seconds. I felt like we had tried for so long, for that miracle, and I thought that the chances of it ever happening again were close to nil," she said.
Kambua shares the weight of miscarriage
Kambua's account sheds light on the silent suffering that often accompanies miscarriages.
She expressed how women who experience such loss may feel a sense of shame or failure, believing that their bodies have let them down.
In her own experience, Kambua initially resolved to keep her pain locked away, convinced that she would carry this heavy burden to her grave.
READ: Kambua's advice to women who have lost children through miscarriages
The fear of judgment and the inability to face the pain inflicted by others led her to silence.
"There’s such a shame that comes with miscarriage because you feel like you’ve failed as a woman and I didn’t know who to have these conversations with. I remember telling myself that I would die with this story because I could not handle the pain that I had and the pain inflicted by other people," she said.
Kambua - My family, and friends helped me overcome the loss
However, she acknowledged the importance of finding a safe space for healing and recovery.
She recounted how her family members and friends, who had also faced similar losses, created a nurturing environment for her.
This support allowed her to gradually open up about her ordeal.