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Uhuru to move back to Gatundu to save his family (Satire)

It's all for the good of the family

A few days after President Uhuru Kenyatta directed that teachers should not be transferred away from their places of birth, the head of state is considering moving back to Gatundu where he spent the early part of his life.

Sources close to the President indicate that the shift to Gatundu is meant to extend goodwill of the President’s visit new policy of allowing public servants to work in the areas where they were born and brought up.

“The family institution is facing extinction, especially among civil servants who are dispatched to work away from their relatives.”

Ichaweri

“At first we thought it was a teacher problem but we have since received complaints from military officers, nurses, police officers…basically the entire public service has been silently battling this problem,” a source close to the matter disclosed.

In his usual manner of leading from the front, President Kenyatta decided to return to Ichaweri and enjoy the remaining few of years of his presidency with Margaret.

The highly placed source indicated that the main motivation for the de-localisation programme had been to promote national cohesion.

“After a careful consideration of the issues, we thought national cohesion is no longer an urgent matter. The handshake between Kenyatta and Odinga is enough for now, everyone can feel its charm,” another source added.

Big Four Agenda

Buoyed by the warm reception the policy has received, Kenyatta is reportedly toying with the idea of incorporating family values in his big four agenda, and dropping housing from the legacy projects.

The logic, according to his team of advisors, is that it is possible two kill two birds by ordering all citizens who are above the age of 55 years out of urban areas.

“Once you turn 55 years, it is time to return to your rural life so that young people can occupy some of these houses. Expect a big launch where Uhuru will hand over his Nairobi home to Jomo and Muhoho,” one of the brains behind the project intimated.

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