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Valentine’s Day is here again, and while lovebirds are planning candlelit dinners and Instagram-worthy dates, there’s a special group of people fighting silent battles—the side chicks and side dudes.
If you’ve ever found yourself in a situationship where your “partner” conveniently disappears every February 14th, this guide is for you.
Forget love potions and romantic expectations; this is all about strategy, self-preservation, and keeping your dignity intact.
1. Accept your position – You're not the main!
First things first—know your position. If you’re in a situationship where your 'partner' disappears every Valentine’s Day, you’re not the CEO. You’re not even in management. You’re an intern with no benefits.
Let’s be clear: The main partner gets the dinner dates, the romantic captions, and the bouquet of flowers delivered to their office. You, on the other hand, will get a vague 'Happy V Day, babe' text (if you’re lucky) or absolute silence (if you’re not).
So, Rule Number One: Know where you stand, and don’t catch feelings.
2. Forget February 14th—Your day is 13th or 15th
If you’re a certified side partner, you should already know that your Valentine’s celebration will be rescheduled.
February 14th? Forget it. That’s for the main. You, on the other hand, get the discounted love package—either February 13th (Pre-Valentine’s Day) or February 15th (Post-Valentine’s Leftovers).
If they insist on celebrating on the 14th, check the time. If it’s at odd hours—say 10 AM or midnight—you’re just a side snack, my friend. But you already know!
3. Prepare for creative excuses
By now, you should be fluent in the excuse language of unfaithful partners. Expect messages like:
Babe, work has me tied up all day, I’m exhausted!
I’m not really into the whole Valentine’s thing, you know I love you every day.
I have a family emergency, I’ll make it up to you.
Translation? They are unavailable, but don’t want to lose you
4. Don’t overcommit financially – Budget for Heartbreak
If you’ve decided to buy a gift, keep it SIMPLE. Do NOT, under any circumstances, go all out with luxury presents, expensive dinner plans, or deep, heartfelt love letters.
Why? Because the moment you hit 'SEND' on that long text about how much they mean to you, they’ll be busy in a five-star restaurant with their real partner.
Instead, budget smartly:
A generic gift like chocolate or perfume—nothing too sentimental.
A backup plan (a friend’s house, a movie night, or even a solo dinner).
Money set aside for ice cream and therapy, just in case
5. Have your own side plans
Do NOT sit by your phone waiting for them to text you at midnight with a lazy “Hope you had a good day, babe.” No, no, no. This is the time to reclaim your dignity. Make plans with friends, go out, enjoy yourself.
Better yet, do the most dangerous thing a side partner can do—start entertaining other options. Trust me, nothing scares an unserious partner like the thought of losing their side benefits.
6. Stay off social media (Or be ready for heartbreak)
If you are a known side in someone’s life, DO NOT STALK THEIR MAIN ON VALENTINE’S DAY. You will see things that will break your spirit.
Soft-launches, expensive gifts, trips, 'Happy Valentine’s, my forever love' captions—things that will make you reconsider your life choices.
Mute them, block them, or better yet, focus on your own life. If they post nothing the whole day, congratulations, you’re dating a secretive professional. If they post too much, just accept that you were never in the competition.
7. Have an exit plan – Side life is not a career
Listen, being a side partner is not a long-term career. It’s like being a substitute teacher—you might be called in occasionally, but you will never get the permanent contract.
At some point, you need to ask yourself:
Because here’s the truth: If they can’t prioritise you on Valentine’s Day, what makes you think they’ll prioritise you on a random Tuesday in July?
Am I okay with this arrangement?
Am I secretly hoping to be promoted to the main?
Do I deserve better? (Yes, you do).
Play smart, love smarter
Valentine’s Day for a side chick or side dude is a tricky game. You can either accept the rules and play along, or wake up and choose self-respect.
Now, go forth and survive February 14th like a pro!