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In the realm of public figures, personal relationships often become subjects of public interest. Such was the case with Kenyan journalists Dennis Okari and Betty Kyallo, whose marriage and subsequent divorce captured widespread attention.
In an interview with Lady Bishop Kathy Kiuna, Okari opened up about his brief marriage to Kyallo, shedding light on the challenges they faced and offering insights into the consequences of marrying the wrong partner.
READ ALSO: Dennis Okari reveals special act he did in place of dowry payment for his wife
Genesis of their relationship
Dennis Okari and Betty Kyallo's paths crossed in the newsroom, where Kyallo was an intern. Their professional relationship evolved into a close friendship, eventually blossoming into a romantic involvement.
This relationship led to the birth of their daughter, a development that prompted Okari to seek counsel from his father.
His father's advice was straightforward: accept responsibility and prepare for fatherhood. Embracing this guidance, Okari and Kyallo began living together, navigating the complexities of new parenthood together.
I met Betty in the newsroom. She was an intern. We became friends One thing led to another we became very close friends and later on we had a relationship And out of that we had a child. And so the reality of what has happened what do i do? This is not what I had planned.
I went to my dad and told him what had happened. I had this friend and we are expecting a child. So he looked at me and asked me if i was sure it was my child and I said yes. He told me I had to plan to be a father. He never rejected me. So we got our daughter and we started living together. Life just continued moving on.
READ ALSO: Betty Kyallo addresses claims that Dennis Okari’s wife was her best maid
Decision to have a grand wedding
Believing that marriage was the natural progression, especially considering societal expectations and the desire to 'correct' their earlier actions, the couple planned a lavish wedding.
The ceremony garnered significant media attention, positioning them as the epitome of 'relationship goals' at the time. However, Okari reflects that this decision was made without seeking divine guidance, a misstep he acknowledges in hindsight.
Then it got to a point I felt its every girls dream to have a wedding. So we got into panning the wedding and we did it. It was such a lavish wedding... We were the talk of town. After our wedding we went back and the reality of now you are married started eating us. The moment you commit and do a wedding and enter a covenant, that's when hell breaks lose. Reality hits. When your are just single nothing much really happens.
Unravelling of the union
Post-wedding, the couple faced the stark realities of married life. Okari describes a swift realisation that they were drifting apart, sensing that perhaps their union was not meant to be.
He admits that the marriage felt forced, driven more by the existence of their child than by genuine compatibility.
It started feeling like how you start drifting really apart. Like this is really not meant to be. It was so fast after the wedding. To be honest I wish I never did it. Although I did it out of a good heart to try and correct a wrong. We had a child out of wedlock. So am breaking protocol and I was like why don't we just make this official.
I did not t know two wrongs don't make a right. I never consulted God about it... It got to a point where it could not just last. We all had our interest. I loved God. I grew up in a certain way and things were not going in that way. A lot of things started coming out.
This period was marked by personal struggles and a profound questioning of whether the marriage was ordained by God. The lack of a solid foundation led to an inevitable breakdown of the relationship.
All these thing were happening at the same time and am caught up in a crossfire. the attention is on me. Deep down there was something I was struggling with. I couldn't answer this ' Was this marriage of God?' I couldn't say yes or no. Years later I'm finding myself asking the question, 'What did I get myself into?' It was never meant to be from the very beginning but we were forcing and just pushing it because we had a child.
I came true to myself and realised this marriage was not really of God and was not meant to be. She was not really my wife. I was not her husband. During that entire period, one of the things that I learnt, God told me to get out of social media. I deleted everything for a year.
The dissolution of their marriage was a tumultuous period for Okari. He battled depression and even contemplated suicide.
READ ALSO: Betty Kyallo’s reaction after fan shared TBT photo of wedding with Okari
In his interview, he recounts a moment where he considered crashing his car to escape the overwhelming pain.
This dark phase showed the importance of mental health and the need for support during such crises. Okari's journey towards healing involved turning to his faith, seeking solace and strength in his relationship with God.
Co-parenting & moving forward
Despite their separation, Okari and Kyallo have committed to co-parenting their daughter amicably. They have fostered a healthy environment for her, ensuring she receives love and support from both parents.
Okari maintains a close relationship with his daughter, engaging in activities like school runs and weekend outings. He also maintains open communication with Kyallo, reflecting a mature approach to co-parenting.
I vowed I would never disonwer the mother to my child. I pictured myself ten years later, if my child comes to me and asks me when you were going through this what did you do? What will I tell her? We are very close with my daughter. On weekends we hang out. Sometimes I take her to school or pick her up from school. We do shopping together. Do lunches together. I also talk to the mother. We co-parent together and we are okay.
Lessons we can learn from Dennis Okari & Betty's marriage, divorce
A child should not be the sole reason for marriage – Okari admitted that he rushed into marriage to "correct a wrong" after they had a child. However, marriage should be based on love, compatibility, and shared values, not just responsibility.
Marriage does not fix relationship issues – Their union revealed that unresolved problems don’t disappear after marriage; instead, they become more pronounced. A strong relationship foundation is essential before taking the next step.
Ensure mutual alignment of values: Okari highlighted that differences in personal values and life goals can lead to marital discord. It's essential for couples to discuss and align on core beliefs and future aspirations before committing to marriage.
Know when to walk away – Okari recognised that forcing a marriage that wasn’t working would only lead to further pain. Acknowledging when something isn’t meant to be is a crucial life skill.
Handling breakups with dignity matters – Okari’s decision to stay silent on social media about his marriage troubles shows the importance of maintaining dignity and privacy during personal struggles. Public drama can escalate tensions unnecessarily.
Co-parenting requires maturity and mutual respect – Despite their failed marriage, Okari and Kyallo prioritise their daughter’s well-being, proving that co-parenting can work when both parties are committed to respect and communication.
These lessons emphasise the importance of self-awareness, careful decision-making, and handling relationships with maturity.
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