Thomas Bosire

Pulse Contributor

There are standards and then there is pettiness. A word in the same family as paranoia.

Men find it annoying when a shot is turned down over a reason that seems to lack genuineness, especially when the person turning you down does not explain why.&nbsp;

Here are some of the petty reasons that have left many hopeless romantics questioning their love interests.&nbsp;

While the jury is still out on whether&nbsp;height is a love language, when you find out that you were rejected because "tall people are fun to hug", then we have to agree that it's a petty reason. Can’t short people stand on their toes?

Nobody chooses to be vertically challenged, this is a natural occurrence but short, down-to-earth, good fellas often get the boot.

I propose a law to outlaw advancement in age being associated with being mature. For some reason, many think that just because he is older than you, maturity is his second name. Only to end up disappointed after finding out he still acts childish.&nbsp;

Making a well-informed decision is an expectation from every adult. Although it is not that common. But maturity is relative to the situation and it’s not cosmic. Next time, you cite immaturity as a deal breaker, remember it’s never that serious.&nbsp;

“You’re too nice” has shattered many hearts to smithereens. Watching <a data-link-role-code="open_new_tab" href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/quizzes/tbt-quiz-do-you-remember-watching-these-famous-mexican-and-filipino-soaps/fqh23cn">Mexican soap operas</a> must have brainwashed some into enacting their romantic thingamajigs. You rain on her with showers of gifts which she ends up selling.

Overly caring has become a pain in the neck. Calls can’t give your phone a break. She wants to always keep tabs with what you are doing. He is more possessive than a Subaru owner. You can’t meet up with a male friend without him acting up all insecure.&nbsp;

To be concerned is human but to be clingy...&nbsp;

An accent is totally dependent on one’s ascent and not the person's bidding.

You claim you can’t date her because the effect of her first language is so heavy yet the only difference between you and her is that you were 'born in town'.

She laughs her head of every time he opens his mouth to say the word 'consequences'. Grow a pair, why don't you? Train your ears to hear the 'shrubbing'.

While poor grammar may make an English tutor cringe and many people may find shortening words when sending text messages annoying, is it really a measure of a person's worth?&nbsp;Isn't that just being petty?

Clothes have no mouth, yet they speak a lot. Keeping up with the trends in the fashion world has left many ruing the outfit they bought years ago.&nbsp;

Some mouths though don’t like speaking and they prefer silence. She claims you have a nineties style with those baggy trousers. You are not ready to change as they are comfy. She doesn’t understand this and claims you embarrass her.&nbsp;Petty.

It is the first date. She asked about your love life. You heartily poured out how you loved the first girl who promised heaven on earth. You affectionately talk about her and even subconsciously mention that given a chance you'd date her again.

After the date, the prospective lover never responds and you wonder where you went wrong.

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7 petty reasons to turn down a potential lover

7 reasons men consider 'petty' when turning down advances

Every person&nbsp;would now go to any depths to win over the person their eyes have found appealing. And even though we've been warned against it, many will try to sew up a largely torn relationship.&nbsp;

Even though masculinity coach Amerix strongly discourages men against it and women will not accept that they are not the prize, both men and women are raring to simp.&nbsp;

Here are six ways in which you can simp with honour.&nbsp;

That toxic ego of yours should be flushed if you are willing to go down this road. Start going to massage parlors as your ego is going to be tirelessly trampled on. Those principles that you hold will be&nbsp;used against you in the court of public opinion with the person you'll be simping for as a principal witness.&nbsp;

<h3>2. Dancing to tunes</h3>

It’s not okay if you have two left feet. Make a mental note of&nbsp;attending dance classes. You will, almost everyday, be whisked off your feet and cajoled to dance to his numerous rhythm of&nbsp;lies. She will&nbsp;blast your ears with excuses that you will have no choice than “jam” to.&nbsp;

<h3>3. Be a cheerful giver</h3>

You are no sonko (rich guy) but be ready to rescue her team of needs. Be wary ladies, men have also become leeches. He won’t settle for&nbsp;the cheap socks and boxers gifts but for a costly Ps5.&nbsp;

You invest your time, attention and emotions and chances are the losses will beat profit.&nbsp;

Despite all this, give Ye wholeheartedly for your reward to simping is in heaven.&nbsp;

<h3>4. Normalise begging</h3>

"Surely, you mean, aki please," are the new vocabulary to use.

Crippled after falling for her, you’ll camp at the zone she’s placed you begging and hoping that one day she will like Peter utter the magical words asking you to rise up and walk into her life.&nbsp;

You scramble for his attention that has been partitioned to many women. You&nbsp;beg, and beg until you lose respect for yourself.&nbsp;

<h3>5. Resilience is key</h3>

To escape the castle of unreciprocated affection, arm yourself with a steadfast spirit.&nbsp;

On Fridays, while your lounge on your sofa furiously typing "Ushago kukoje?", she is safely tucked in cuddling with the laugh of her life in Komarock. He will say he's with the boys discussing serious matters only for the son of a woman to be having the time of his life with the girl he tells you is a cousin.&nbsp;

<h3>6. Be desperate</h3>

You will never find another girl like her. The material that was used to make her has long been out-of-stock in the stores. Let her phone never stop ringing and increase your appetite for blue ticks.&nbsp;

Scrub those jeans clean, make him layered chapatis and serve him the best where it matters. In fact be as submissive as they sat Ugandan women are.&nbsp;

Close up. Man and woman hold hands tightly.

Simping has become part and parcel of the guile game of love.

A guide on how to simp, and why it's necessary

You've shot your best shot, sharp and on-target,&nbsp;only for it to end up deflected. The person you've been eyeing now treats you like an eyesore.&nbsp;

I've found that eating food can teach us some valuable lessons in <a data-link-role-code="open_new_tab" href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/lifestyle/relationships-and-weddings/how-to-woo-your-crush-in-8-simple-steps/pw6h58h">the process of wooing a girl</a>, and like the stomach, you also have to digest&nbsp;the outcomes.&nbsp;

Here are eight ways that can be resourceful for when you have to stomach a rejection.&nbsp;

<h3>1. Change your diet</h3>

Sometimes rejection may be a good opportunity to rethink what kind of partner you'd like to be with.

You might have been wrong about the ideal person for you. You are not an artist but head back to the drawing board and try to paint again.&nbsp;

<h3>2. Change your eating time and manner</h3>

Are you one of those people who doesn't follow the stipulated times for having meals?&nbsp;Well, this is for you.

She flashed the outright no, to your face, because your timing was wanting. You could have assumed you're an egg by being overly insistent on getting laid or your inability to use cutlery was why she wasn’t cut out for the below-par pick-up lines you used.

READ: <a data-link-role-code="open_new_tab" href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/lifestyle/relationships-and-weddings/things-you-wouldnt-have-to-beg-for-from-your-girlfriend/0nbkrtr">If a woman loves you, you won't have to beg for these 5 things</a>

Up your table manners through how you behave, and the time you choose to shoot your shot.&nbsp;

<h3>3. Let it digest</h3>

The rejection will hurt almost as much as gobbling down hot potatoes, but eventually, it will hit you that it was better off. You will obviously struggle with coming to terms with the realization. But for god’s sake let the rejection sink in!

<h3>4. Eating place</h3>

This refers to where you have been searching for your perfect match. It is like eating at a certain eatery then you end up having a gut upset. In this light,&nbsp;the dating app has been tempting you to swipe right only to be left disappointed.

You’ve been camping on a rocky social media platform,&nbsp;scouting for&nbsp;this guy who ends up knocking you down.

AI ARTICLE: <a data-link-role-code="open_new_tab" href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/lifestyle/relationships-and-weddings/chatgpt-suggests-how-to-answer-a-girlfriend-when-asked-why-dont-we-go-out-anymore/m9qv2bz">How to answer when asked 'Why don't we go out anymore?'</a>

Change the place as&nbsp;you would from a kibandaski which got you sick to a restaurant. If your challenge is many rejections from prospects online then consider doing more face-to-face meetups.&nbsp;

Take a sabbatical leave from exploits on the whole quest for love scene. Strive to be at peace with yourself by treating yourself.

The rejection was a warning that your rate of shooting shots was draining you and it was high time&nbsp;you fasted before getting back out there.&nbsp;

You were looking for a prayer partner right? She probably turned down your advances since you had not asked for consent from the Father above. Don’t you pray before eating? Why shouldn’t you ask for divine intervention since a good partner comes from heaven?&nbsp;

<h3>7. Price matters</h3>

Expensive food will not sit well with the greens accustomed to chairing&nbsp;your stomach meetings. The girl probably had standards that bamboozled your sorry self.

Your peanuts would not sate her ever-ballooning appetite.&nbsp;As you budget for food every month, also consider going for girls within your pocket's reach.

You should literally know how to cook food and&nbsp;not mashakura. This means you rely on hookups and DMs rather than looking out for "the one" among them.

Master recipes on how to date by reading <a data-link-role-code="open_new_tab" href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/lifestyle">Pulse Lifestyle</a>!&nbsp;

Can you stomach rejection? 8 tips to help when she says 'No' to you

When WhatsApp crashed some&nbsp;months ago, it dawned on many Kenyans how dependent they'd become on the green app.&nbsp;

It is interesting how many were restarting their phones, uninstalling and installing the App and finally flocking to other platforms after discovering that it had been a global outage.

The famous KOT (Kenyans on Twitter) battalion was seen attempting to induct the 'stranded' majority into the platform after it remained stable as the other <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/business/facebook-rebrands-to-meta-everything-kenyans-need-to-know-about-new-company/zcnmdbs">Meta-owned apps</a> went down.

Here are 10 types of Kenyan WhatsApp users you are likely to interact with every time you open the app.&nbsp;

1. A GB-sized ego

They feel as privileged as people with dimples. The mere fact that they can hide their last seen and view statuses undetected makes them feel tech savvy.

They are eagerly waiting for Meta to create a feature that will make snooping even easier. If they could type on someone else’s behalf or change someone’s profile picture, they definitely would.&nbsp;

2. Entitled group admins

These are the only worthy competitors to apartment building caretakers.

They wake up one morning and&nbsp;lock the group for only admins to send messages and feel as powerful as that caretaker does when rationing water.&nbsp;

They set rules&nbsp;like, "Don’t advertise your blue pill business here since the group is strictly for...". This is the exact same way that cocky caretaker told you - when you moved in - "only married people live here", yet everyday you lay chicks more reliably than a mother hen.

They add you to a group without your consent only to impeach you unceremoniously after having contributed to their illusionary perfect wedding.&nbsp;

The only difference between them and Kevin Hart is that he does standup comedy and they paint their status walls while seated. They failed terribly in Chemistry but can’t help but diffuse memes into our inboxes like laughing gas at a dentist's chair.&nbsp;

4.&nbsp;Feelings &amp; quotes for days!

Kevo has not sent fare, they put up a&nbsp;"Stingy men are so unfair and deserve to have their faces licked by the devil" status.&nbsp;

They get dumped and a hell of quotes breaks loose. They just can’t help but update their contacts of their every inkling via quotes.

5. Business over pleasantries

You'll never understand why WhatsApp has alerted you that you're chatting with a business number yet this person told you that was their personal number.

But all your rhetorical questions are answered when they strike at dawn, bombarding your inbox and groups with the commodities they sell as if they’re that estranged ex-lover.&nbsp;

6. "Bundles si shida" gang

This is that rude secretary who only rivals cranky maternity ward nurses as she’s ever on WhatsApp siphoning the company's WiFi.&nbsp;That geeky IT guy who you find constantly bent over his computer like a gecko would to stick to a wall. Their consistency in being online would earn them a seat as at least for them,&nbsp;they'd assure&nbsp;developments.

7. Blue Tick Ni Kuu

These users are what Nairobi women do to black Kings out here. They take you through great pains to get that number as if it were a government tender only to end up practicing Kung Fu language in their inboxes.&nbsp;They cannot even be conscious of one’s color blindness and their outright snubbing is served on a cold silver platter.&nbsp;

8. "Arise and shine" proclaimers

These users frequently share paragraphs which, if you fail to forward, woe unto you because your name will be scraped off the book of life. They think they add so much value in that work forum group by their constant "Until it’s your time, learn to clap for others"&nbsp;and other belaboring messages.&nbsp;

9. Official communicators

Whoever confirmed WhatsApp to be used as an official communication channel should be hanged with pegs. These users can send you a message for that project assignment on a weekend unaware that by the time you’re finished weekending, it'd be way too late. They expect you to censor what you post on your status wall like you're a politician looking for reelection.&nbsp;

10. Team "Litawachoma Sana"&nbsp;

She has been prescribing painkillers for the headache she thinks she gives people by posting those pictures she took during that Mombasa work retreat last June.

He has nicknamed himself "stress" because he thinks he gives women sleepless nights with the topless pictures he posts while at the gym.

They recently got engaged and their frequent posting of each other leave you recommitting yourself to kamati ya roho chafu.

Have you come across any of these Kenyans?

10 irritating Kenyans on WhatsApp

As a man, sending out that message that indicates you like a lady is always tough. It is like sending out your CV&nbsp;in a bid to seek a job.

Luckily it’s a man-help-man society so here are six cool ways with which you can inbox a lady and get that conversation going.&nbsp;

<h3>Be straightforward</h3>

Come up with a well conceived text that aptly captures the intentions you have. Walk on the safe side of the inbox road by omitting single His and Heys as if they were gross grammatical errors. Beating around the bush from your first text will leave a Joker or normal intruder impression on her.&nbsp;

<h3>Don’t be desperate</h3>

Cease like Caesar washing off his hands from being too desperate. Don’t bombard her&nbsp;inbox with many countless, vague messages that beat those of a landlord. Instead, try not to sound desperate and be mindful of how often you text her.&nbsp;

Don’t be tempted to commit the abomination that thirsty men do nonchalantly. Sending pictures of your genitals won’t all over a sudden make her crave you.

<h3>Don't use a pseudo account&nbsp;</h3>

She will definitely go through your timeline or profile like a detective looking for leads. That faceless picture can lower your chances. She obviously knows you might be a&nbsp;joker or someone who’s out to gauge her willingness.&nbsp;

Be real so that she can put a face behind the account which she may gush over. Before you know it your messages will be reliably replied to.&nbsp;

<h3>Use humour and pickup lines</h3>

Hi, Hey and Niaje Mrembo are long out of the dating syllabus. Carry her off her feet as if you are a pickup truck. Strive to be unique and let her interest be spooked by that new Dm which is laced with wowing words.&nbsp;

Don’t just crack whips, crack jokes also. It is not supposed to be all Umeshindaje banalities. She probably had a bad day and those pleasantries will amount to curt responses. That Funny meme should find its way into her inbox and liven up like a comedy show.&nbsp;

Don’t you brush your shoes every morning to a black sheen? If so, why can’t you check up on her more often and she like the shoe will&nbsp;reflect back your image inform of the replies she sends.

The single messages you send occasionally will massage your ego into her forgetting your attempts. This does not mean now being all clingy but being mindful that a bit a bit leads to a habit of her valuing you.&nbsp;

<h3>Drop all expectations</h3>

You would be having all the aforementioned but what if she’s already cuffed as a link to a hyper. Don’t get all excited and entitled now that she’s entertaining your sorry texts. The friendship would end up suffocating in the airless social media and not doing the aisle.&nbsp;

10 ways to slide into a babe's DM like a pro (Youth SG)

As a man, sending out that message that indicates you like a lady is always tough. It is like sending out your CV in a bid to seek a job. Luckily it’s a man-help-man society so here are six cool ways with which you can inbox a lady and get that conversation going.

How to successfully shoot your shot, 6 dos & don'ts

It is literally the worst feeling, right? To have feelings for someone but be unable to do anything because you do not want to hurt anyone's feelings or are too afraid to go any further, fearing rejection.

Here are six types of zones that girls will serve you on a cold platter.

In this zone, you call each other endearing words that are as sweet as chocolate itself. Lovey-dovey emojis decorate your WhatsApp conversations.

The words of affirmation you exchange are blush worthy. All these but she still sees you as a Bachelor Attention Emissary (BAE). To add salt to the injury, her boyfriend knows all about you but regards you as a non-issue.

<h3>2.&nbsp;No strings attached zone</h3>

One time under the throws of passion, you try to bring the point of maybe getting engaged to&nbsp;her and the outright no that she replies with, makes you deflate like a student being handed over his chemistry results.

She claims you are only good for intimacy and yours is contract based coital joys. Your sorry self is already attached on a string of love that is tautly held by this zone.

<h3>3.&nbsp;Bestie zone</h3>

You hold a Bachelor's Degree in counselling psychology with the way you always listen to her whims about her man.

She claims you're as understanding as a Competency Based Curriculum (CBC) parent. You have broad shoulders for her to lean on whenever she’s heartbroken and a fluffy handkerchief to wipe her tears like a good best friend.

This zone is choking and it’s like eating hot potatoes, but the hope of maybe she opening her eyes one day and noticing, keeps you walking like Johnny.

Even if you tried to bring heaven to earth or catch a bullet for her, she will still refer to you as her big brother.&nbsp;

She is on a script whenever you around and like a&nbsp;actress, she plays the good girl role. Your smitten self sees her as an ideal girl only to be left&nbsp;hurt and broken in this climatic zone.

<h3>5.&nbsp;“Beshte Mpoa” zone</h3>

She only contacts you when in need. You're her low key savior. Last week alone, you sent her Sh.2000 to make her hair in a bid to help a friend out. You often talk, exchange messages but anytime you try shooting your shot, she drops the bombshell "I only see you as a friend and nothing more."

<h3>6.&nbsp;Uncertain zone</h3>

You are a standby frog that she kisses whilst looking for her Mr. Right. One moment you're all cozy, the next you're all alone.

Signs you are in the friend zone(bloghiltongrandvacations)

You thought the friend zone was bad? Well, check these out.

6 relationship zones worse than the friend zone

Gentlemen, innocuous things such as a haircut, your cologne <a data-link-role-code="open_new_tab" href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/lifestyle/fashion/shoes-are-makeup-for-men-pulse-contributors-opinion/jwmq1rj">and your shoe game may be used against you</a> in the court of public opinion.

The society has spiraled into using one’s fashion sense or dressing style as a yardstick to measure how well or worse of a life they’re leading.

No wonder the other gender (the daughters of Zi...) have had their hearts shattered to smithereens after they fell heads-over-heels for a guy in a denim coat, a plain white t-shirt, blue jeans and white sneakers.&nbsp;

Here’s how the ever-evolving fashion sense for men is perceived by a good number of people.

There’s a level of respect attributed to a person in a suit.

Over time, the myth that people in suits have money has never been demystified.

While a suit is mostly preferred by people as a starter pack for job interviews, going to church or attending a function we can't deny that even on an ordinary day a suit will transform any man!

Kenyan Influencers Kennedy Makau and Mayau Dream Chaser in suits [Instrgram: @nedyparezo]

While in the past, suits were only a darling for people in their mid-life, they have now evolved into a panache for the millennials and the GenZers.

With the influx of the well-fitted suits, there’s more to suits, and you wouldn't miss to come across a guy in a turtle-neck, a dapper suit and some loafers on a Monday.&nbsp;

Suits have stood the test of time and will likely remain a staple "luku".

<h3>The Khaki-official looks&nbsp;</h3>

A preferred go-to look for gentlemen working in a semi-formal environment. It’s not a show of affluence but could easily be what many would agree is practical.

Khaki pants look by Kenyan influencer Ben Cyco [Instagram: @bencyco]

<h3>The hoodie and jeans gang&nbsp;</h3>

This can be described as a “Hustler”, casual look. You wouldn’t be surprised to walk to town on a Sunday and find almost all men uniformly in this characteristic look.

Kenyan musician Ayrosh in a classy hoodie-jeans look

<h3>The "I woke up like this" loyals</h3>

They don’t give much thought to the way they dress. They could put on a suit with a cap on, would wear broken suit with a t-shirt.

Sometimes these dowdily-adorned eccentricities have millions stacked up in their bank accounts but they won’t change that one favourite shirt for over three damned years.

Sauti Sol's Bien Aime in an effortless t-shirt and jeans look

Sometimes they are obsessed with shorts... you know, them Subaru boys with their Maasai "shukas".

<h3>The Generation Z “trendy look”</h3>

Talk of revolutionizing the fashion industry, how about we laud these new kids on the block!

They thrive on skinny-Jeans that hold them tight like a corkscrew, the denim jackets, the a bit overwhelming Jordans and some brand-emblazoned t-shirts.

If you can keep up with them then mad props!

Kenyan musician Willy Pozee in a skinny-jeans look [Instagram: @willy.aul.msafi]

<h3>Out with the paisley, in with the botanics</h3>

They are blazing the streets. You would bet most males by now own one or two silky-flowered shirts.

Especially after former President Uhuru Kenyatta popularised them, they’ve caused a frenzy.

Kenyan celebrity stylist Brian Babu showcasing a Kaftan outfit [Instagram: Brian Babu]

6 typical fashion trends among men in Nairobi.

6 'luku' Kenyan men agree are 'moto'

With travelers heading to different destinations and Kenyans out to eke out a living by doing whatever their hands find, these stages thrive on a bedlam of activities.

Here are three characters who deem stages their forte with some traits that one may consider annoying:-

<h3>The nagging hawkers</h3>

You are <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/prepare-for-higher-fares-starting-tomorrow-matatu-operators/ww2d1g4">seated in a matatu</a> on a chilly evening, dreading the traffic this city always seems to be unable to manage and the matatu hasn't left the stage yet.

You are scrolling through social media keeping up with the latest goings-on and you are about to adjust the window when you break the cardinal rule; making eye contact with a hawker.

Taking it as a cue, a hawker is in no time, reciting the line “soda, maji, biscuit” right in your face.

You shake your head in refusal and he walks on, you hear him signaling to his fellow hawkers to come try their luck with you.

With you seated like a priest in a confession booth, the hawkers pass by your window bidding their wares and you only respond with a dejected “sio leo (not today)”.

Woe unto you though, when you turn down a hawker and she decides to rain on you with insults.

One of the hawkers will, however, win you over with their persuasiveness as he vouches for this random power bank which he claims can charge four phones simultaneously, can last for a week and offers it at a ridiculous price.

You smile as you hand over the cash thinking you have made a kill not knowing you’re one who’s been duped and killed literally.

<h3>The conductors and 'Kamagiras'</h3>

Their persuasive nature beats that of a politician rallying for votes.

They are a pain in the neck especially when they fight for you like a pack of hungry wolves.&nbsp;Unlike most men, they don’t take 'No' for an answer.

They are full of expletives that may make one stifle in embarrassment.&nbsp;You would be strolling through the stage only to be ambushed by a 'kamagira' (conductor) who reeks of alcohol and in a microsecond, you would be in a matatu headed to Timbuktu.

Better still, you would be in a hurry to go somewhere, a Conductor beckons you to a matatu.

He claims it is full, you peer in and indeed you confirm it’s full and ready to go. You board only to be met by the rude shock that almost three-quarters of the passengers were just warming the seats and fooling the incoming.&nbsp;

<h3>The “carriers”</h3>

Thomas Bosire

Articles written by the author