Njeri Kinuthia

Pulse Contributor

It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time, This could be your future spouse, employer or just a friend.

In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanour, your mannerisms and how you are dressed.

With every new encounter, you are evaluated and yet another person's impression of you is formed. These first impressions can be nearly impossible to reverse or undo, and they often set the tone for the relationship that follows.

But did you know that there are a few tweaks that can help you make an amazing first impression?

These habits are super easy to do and once you master a few of these habits you'll note that the people you meet find you charismatic.

A fist bump is the way to go as scientists say it can protect yourself against various infections including the coronavirus (heavy)

Most people mistakenly think a first impression starts when you start speaking, so they don't pay attention to how they enter a room or what they're doing before getting into a conversation.

<h3>1. Make an entrance</h3>

Your first impression actually starts as soon as someone first notices you. A good first impression should have confident body language and positive energy.

At a work meeting, classroom or social event, it can be as simple as walking in with your head held high, shoulders back, a smile on your face and saying a big hello.

Go in one energy level higher than the average person in that same situation.

Happy woman on a date [Credit everyday feminism]

Happy woman on a date [Credit everyday feminism]; You can be single and balling [Credit Youtube];

One specific tip for how to instantly look more confident is getting comfortable taking up the space around you.

A common mistake that will make you look like you lack confidence is keeping your arms tight to your body while you speak. Instead, use gestures and command the space.

<h3>2. Observational compliments </h3>

Make quick observations on the people or person you're meeting for the first time looking for something you can compliment.

The aim is to make yourself personable and avoid seeming aloof or standoffish.

This isn't about lying or saying something fake because if you do that it will seem like false flattery. Instead, when you start a conversation, ask yourself if there's anything you can genuinely compliment. If there is then say it, if not, don't sweat it.

It's also just generally good to compliment the people in your life who you're already close to; instead of focusing solely on trying to make yourself look good like most people, spend time elevating the people around you.

<h3>3. Active listening</h3>

&nbsp;It is also important to be an encouraging listener and make people enjoy talking to you. The easiest way is simply to smile and make eye contact as you listen.

You must also aim to be a likable listener, lower your guard and laugh easily. Often we think that in order to make a good impression, we need to be funny and charming. However, people will also love being around you if you make them feel funny and charming.&nbsp;

<h3>4. Preparation beats everything</h3>

Anticipate the questions you're likely to be asked on that first interaction and prepare your replies in advance.

We all have questions we know we get asked whenever you first meet someone. Maybe it's where are you from or what you do. You know it's going to be asked but do you have a homerun answer?

If you want to get good at consistently making an amazing first impression and you don't want to have to rely on quick wit, then you'll want to think about the questions you get asked most frequently and have great answers for them.

A great answer can either make the person laugh or showcase something interesting or attractive about you in a way that feels natural and unforced.&nbsp;

4 sure ways to make a good first impression every time

How to make yourself instantly likable in any situation

4 sure ways to make an unforgettable first impression

When you hear Chiki Kuruka, Lady Mandy and Yvonne Endo, you'll probably first think of their brands and the names they've made for themselves in the lifestyle industry.

Chiki is a fitness and dance influencer, Lady Mandy is an accomplished fashion stylist while Yvonne is a sought-after entrepreneur and fashion influencer.

The three are some of the closely-watched celebrities making boss moves in Kenya.

They are also the women in the lives of three of Sauti Sol's band members - Bien Aime, Polycarp alias Fancy Fingers and Savara.

Aside from their boss babe vibe and famous baes, the three also share one more thing in common - their diverse nationalities.

Lady Mandy is a Burundian by birth, Chiki is part-Swiss and part-Nigerian while Yvonne is part-Kenyan and part-Japanese.

Why we decided to have the Sol Family docu-series - Sauti Sol

One has to wonder how the gentlemen from Sauti Sol won the hearts of these three women, especially with the possible cultural differences.

Sauti Sol Love Stories

Let's start with Bien Aime Baraza. The man with the vocals and the height. He married his long time girlfriend Chiki Kuruka. The beloved bubbly dancer was born in Nigeria.

The two love birds met at a parking lot of an event where Sauti Sol performed. Chiki had come with a friend, Emmanuel Jambo and Bien suspected they were dating.

It's only after popping the "doesn't your boyfriend get mad when you do these things" that Chiki cleared the air that she wasn't dating Emmanuel and they took it off from there.

Polycarp Otieno popularly known as Fancy Fingers found his love too. A lady with a great personality who breathes in fashion and exhales great vibes. Her name is Lady Mandy and hails from Burundi.

Lady Mandy met Fancy Fingers after a show performance and it's after a cheque mishap between Camp Mulla and Sauti Sol that made them interact. The rest is history.

Polycarp "Fancy Fingers" with his wife Lady Mandy

Delvin Mudigi Savara. The man with the beautiful lady, Yvonne Endo. She is a beautiful Kenyan-Japanese with her father being Luo and her mother from Tokyo, Japan.

They also met in a concert in Nairobi where Savara spotted two beautiful lasses and asked for her number. As Savara describes the scenario on Sol Generation TV, he was so tipsy on that night that he forgot to save her number.

Sauti Sol's Savara with his girlfriend Yvonne Endo

He had to ask Yvonne's friend, Sean for the number. They constantly share photos of each other on trips or just having chill time together and with friends.

The foregoing is an Opinion Article submitted to Pulse Live Kenya for publication as part of the Pulse Contributors initiative.

Pulse Contributors is an initiative to highlight diverse journalistic voices. Pulse Contributors do not represent the company Pulse and contribute on their own behalf.

Should you wish to submit an Article to Pulse, do so via contributors@pulse.co.ke.

Njeri Kinuthia a freelance writer who is passionate about telling my stories about lifestyle, entertainment and current affairs. I have three years of experience in article writing and a beneficiary of Ajira Digital.

Chiki Kuruka, Lady Mandy and Yvonne Endo: What these three women have in common aside from their famous partners

What these three fabulous women have in common other than their Sauti Sol baes

What Chiki Kuruka, Lady Mandy and Yvonne Endo have in common [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Child loss can happen through stillbirth, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, preeclampsia and neonatal infant loss.

Former American President Ronald Reagan declared October 1988 to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month on October 25, 1988.

In his speech on that day, he said, “When a child loses his parents, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.

This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world.

According to a report by UNICEF in October 2020, every 16 seconds, a stillbirth happens somewhere on the globe. This means that approximately 2 million babies are stillborn each year.

This month of October, as we honor and remember parents who have experienced pregnancy loss, it is paramount to note the words to use when comforting these parents.

1. Be present

You don't have to say anything. Make yourself at home in silence. It may be sufficient to simply be physically present with the bereaved parents.

2. Provide unlimited assistance

"Please let me know if there is anything else I can do. I'm available to help in any manner I can."

3. Avoid triggering phrases

Never utter anything like, "It had to be for the best," or "It is God's will." When you say this, you can't make sense of loss. These words may make parents feel as if you are downplaying their child's death.

Never assert that the child is in a better situation. This will bring little solace to bereaved parents who are in the darkest place they've ever been.

Don't overlook the importance of the parents' experience by telling your own. It's their time to mourn. Maintain your attention on them.

Don't suggest a grieving timeline. Do not discuss the stages of mourning. Grief does not follow a timeline or progress through stages in the same way that other emotions do.

Do not say that ‘it is well’. It is not well and it shall never be well.&nbsp;

4. Offer a meal to the bereaved parents

The parents might not be in a position to cook and offering a meal is a simple way of saying, "Your loss is important to me, and I'm here to help."

Because everyone is different, it's impossible to predict how a mother and father would react to the loss of their child.

If you're unsure, listen to the parents' cues and inquire about their preferences. Many parents wish to talk about their pregnancy loss in order to keep the baby's memory alive.

Love and light to all women who have experienced child loss. May you get all the support you need around you to help you and your partners during your time of grief.

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, dedicated to honoring and remembering parents who have lost a child during pregnancy or in infancy

4 ways to comfort a grieving parent

Your 20s can be one of the best experiences of your life and in the same breath, those years can be the absolute ghetto!

It's a phase of self-discovery, career foundation and realisation that the world works differently than you were told for 19 years.

I am absolutely delighted that you've made the time to learn about things you’re likely to regret not doing in your 20s.

We are not going to learn the importance of saving money, because that is obvious and this writer is not in the business of writing the obvious.

Things you’ll wish you had learned in your 20's [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

The first thing you might wish you learned is that you can either play with toxic people or you can live at world-class but you can't do both.

It's very easy for very good people to suffer from a lack of creativity and productivity because they're surrounded by energy vampires, bad-mind vibes people and negative naysayers.&nbsp;

What you discover over the years is that one of the most powerful ways to live a quality life, whether it's in terms of your productivity, prosperity, your happiness, or sense of peace is by letting go of&nbsp;the people who suck joy out of your life.

Whatever the process you choose to work with, do the work of identifying the toxic people in your life and onwards to lesson number two...&nbsp;

man standing happiness on the kitchen and preparing food

<h3>Learning to Let Go</h3>

Have the wisdom and bravery to start removing and releasing the people in your life who are bringing you down.

What if that person is your close friend, or family member? Letting go of people who are not close to you is fairly easier than when those people bringing you down are either in your circle of friends or family.

It is best if you can explain to them how their behaviour makes you feel and find a way to create a more conducive relationship for both parties.

However, if that doesn’t work, you can do this in phases where you decide to start hanging out with or talking to them a bit less.&nbsp;

<h3>Character Development</h3>

The second thing you are likely to wish you learned in your 20s is that everything that happens to you is for your growth.

A bad day for the ego is a great day for the soul so the ego might be saying, "Oh! That was terrible, that was a tragedy, that was a difficult meeting or that was a hard moment!".&nbsp;

There's no benefit in collecting resentment.

You should learn to become much more aware of your higher self, that innate genius, that hero in your core under the layers of fear, doubt and disbelief.&nbsp;

The more you start to get to know your bravest, strongest truest self and the more you stand in your true power versus your fake power, then the more you're going to realize everything that&nbsp;happens to you whether it's been a tragedy or a mere tremor, it is all for your growth.

<h3>Let's be realistic</h3>

The third thing you are likely to wish you'd learned in your 20s is that there is a difference between being a busybody and genuine productivity.

Many successful people really don't work super hard, they are much more interested in quality work than busy work.&nbsp;

It doesn't matter what other people are doing, all that matters is who you're becoming and how far you've traveled. A lot of people can get caught up in the comparison because now technology allows everyone to see each other’s life on social media.&nbsp;

<h3>As Kendrick Lamar put it, It's all about Love</h3>

The final thing you might wish you learned in your 20s is that the most loving person in the room wins.

One of the dominant beliefs in our society is that to be brave and courageous and successful, you need to work relentlessly, you need to push aggressively, you need to thump your chest, you need to express bravado.

Many people believe that if you are loving, civil, polite, sincere and caring you're a weakling.&nbsp;

Let's quit that kind of thinking today because even productivity comes from a place of abundance and is therefore a form of generosity.

Being open and caring about other people and being absolutely obsessed about helpfulness to other people by delivering extreme amounts of value is not only the right thing to do but it also uplifts, grows your self-confidence and makes you feel good when your head hits the pillow every night.

It's an amazing business strategy because then you develop these evangelists for your brand and these fanatical followers for your products.

If you lost your job today or an emergency arose, how long would you be able to sustain yourself financially? This question will help you brainstorm and challenge yourself as long as saving is concerned.

Learn about things you’re likely to regret not doing in your 20s.

4 things you’ll wish you had learned in your 20s

There are many mistakes first-time car buyers make during their first purchase.

According to car experts, these are mistakes you can avoid. Some of the errors include:

If you fall in love with a car, take some time to step back to <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/bi/lifestyle/8-ways-to-avoid-getting-scammed-when-buying-a-car-online/vv5n96c">ensure it's the right car</a> for you according to your needs. In a nutshell, don't allow your heart to rule your head because it will cost you.

Buying a car should not be a decision you come to at the spur of the moment. Allow yourself a few days to think about it. It's also a good idea to shop around and compare estimates from different vendors. If the car you want is out of your price range, try a gently used model of the exact vehicle.

Don't get distracted

Being more interested in the shape, color, and number plate of a car instead of the car's performance in terms of <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/business/looking-for-a-car-the-top-10-used-cars-under-sh1m-you-should-be-considering/7se21xr">engine capacity and reliability</a>.

If you've ever owned a car that was constantly needing repairs, you understand how crucial reliability is. Ensuring you have a suitable engine capacity will save you the trouble of recurrent car repairs.&nbsp;

Don't make the error of buying a car that "looks good", even if it "feels wonderful" when you test drive it. Take a mechanic friend with you or have it inspected by a professional unless you have excellent car experience.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Dreading the idea of buying used cars

According to car dealers, several first car buyers mistakenly believe that "only a new vehicle will do", while in fact, <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/business/things-to-consider-before-buying-a-second-hand-car-explainer/sqy0cxw">used cars are a great first car alternative</a>.

New cars are more pricey, have a higher depreciation rate in the first year, and require extra insurance coverage. Used cars have previously depreciated, will depreciate less in the future, are more affordable and need less insurance.

Failing to test drive the car before buying

Because buying your first car is so thrilling, it's common for a buyer to avoid taking it for a comprehensive test drive before signing the papers. Because <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/business/5-money-saving-tips-when-buying-a-family-car/j6982qt">certain vehicles are more pleasurable to drive than others</a>, this is a critical stage that you should not skip (or you will likely be disappointed).&nbsp;

During a test drive, there are several things to keep an eye on. Buyers should consider how they will utilize the vehicle daily: highway driving, carrying children, and parking in various situations.

Being pressured during the first purchase

<a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/local/dci-arrests-car-selling-fraudsters-targeting-kenyans-online-avoid-their-tactics/hxhy9w8">Car salespeople</a> are known for being pushy and saying or doing everything to close a sale. It's crucial to avoid being pushed into purchasing before you're ready or have gone over all of your options. If you're a first-time customer, a salesperson will be able to tell, and they won't be reluctant to utilize that information to their advantage.

Look into various vehicle selections, read dealer reviews, and compare quotes from motor loan companies <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/bi/lifestyle/the-pandemic-is-changing-how-people-buy-cars-forever-as-dealerships-post-virtual/lwb84ll">before turning the key in the ignition</a>.

And how to avoid them

Common mistakes first time car buyers make [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Fuel prices in Kenya have risen to an all-time high, with petrol costing Sh134.72 and diesel costing Sh115, respectively, indicating increases of Sh7.58 and Sh7.94 per litre.&nbsp;

The <a href="https://www.pulselive.co.ke/news/prepare-for-higher-fares-starting-tomorrow-matatu-operators/ww2d1g4">most significant increase</a> was in Kerosene, which increased by Sh12.97 to Sh110.2 per liter.

The fuel hike has made matatu owners increase fare prices, and this action has devastated passengers.

Private motorists are also lamenting the fuel hike. Therefore, it is ideal for motorists to reduce fuel consumption and save using the tips below recommended by car experts and mechanics.&nbsp;

Only drive when needed

Driving your car less is the most effective approach to lower your fuel use. Only use your car when necessary.

Consider walking or even riding a bicycle if you need to move a short distance, like when going to the shop or taking your child to the bus stop.&nbsp;You will not only save money, but you will also benefit from the workout.

Kenya’s capital city can be one of the worst places to be stuck in traffic

Use the right gear

Use the appropriate gear if your car has a manual gearbox (stick shift).

If you're towing a lot of weight, go down a gear, so your engine doesn't have to work as hard as it needs to.

When traveling at higher speeds, make sure you utilize a higher gear. You should pay attention to your engine. You're wasting fuel if your engine sounds like it's overworking or underworking.

Reduce driving aggressively

Excessive speed, accelerating too abruptly, and stopping too hastily are all undesirable habits.

All three of these acts result in a significant increase in fuel usage, according to car mechanics. They advise motorists to slow down and drive at the same speed as the traffic.&nbsp;

Allow enough distance between you and the person in front of you so that you can come to a complete stop without slamming on the brakes. Wherever possible, a gentle, brakeless slowdown can help you improve your fuel efficiency.

Frequently check your tire pressure

Your tires may be under-inflated even though your tyre pressure indicator isn't flashing brightly, resulting in a loss of fuel efficiency.

Car experts recommend checking tire pressure before starting your car for the day since cool tyres will provide the most accurate pressure reading.&nbsp;

If your tyres appear to be under-inflated, likely, you have already waited until the last minute for filling them up.

Insufficiently inflated tires reduce traction and increase the number of times your tyres must rotate to cover the same distance.

It's also said that over-inflation and under-inflation can have a detrimental impact on your fuel usage, so be sure you fill your tyres to the recommended PSI.

Close the windows if possible&nbsp;

According to aerodynamic experts, the more aerodynamic your vehicle is, the better its mileage will be.

Keeping your windows down while driving increases your vehicle's drag and wind resistance. It's typically fine to drive with the windows down if you're doing less than 35 mph.

However, it would be best to leave the windows up at higher speeds to reduce drag and enhance fuel consumption.

Reduce the use of air conditioning

Did you know using AC in your car affects your fuel consumption?

According to car experts, using a vehicle's air conditioning system consumes more fuel than when the AC is off.&nbsp;Of course, there will be occasions when the heat and humidity force you to turn on the air conditioner.

You even control the car's air vent via the touchscreen.

However, use the air conditioner sparingly. Use the air conditioning on a low setting if you have to pick between keeping your windows rolled down and using the AC at high speeds.

If you are in a position to use the train when commuting to work, take advantage. You will have escaped the fuel menace and traffic too.

You might want to lose the comfort of your car for a tad bit to save a few coins as we wait for the economic storm to end.

A woman fills her car at a gas station in Annapolis, Maryland, on Wednesday. Fears that the shutdown of a Colonial Pipeline fuel line because of a cyberattack would cause a gasoline shortage led to panic buying in some states.

Save a few coins wait for the economic storm to halt

6 tips to save and reduce fuel consumption for your car [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

When the Covid-19 pandemic struck, many people were caught off guard as long as finances and savings were involved.

Companies started reducing the number of employees, employees were subjected to unpaid leave, salary cuts were put in place and even now there are companies who seem to be taking advantage of the situation and they have not reviewed the salaries.&nbsp;

The economy was shaken and only the few who had saved a few pennies managed to stand strong during the economic storm.

Employment, as they say, can make you develop a bad habit of surviving from paycheque to paycheque without setting something aside for the rainy days. It is, therefore, paramount to develop a saving culture.&nbsp;

Why start saving?

To establish a savings culture, one must first recognize that saving is not done because one has enough money, but rather because one is ready to sacrifice current desires in pursuit of a bigger or long-term goal.

First and foremost, develop a strategy. After you've decided what you want to do with the money you wish to save over time, the next step is to devise a strategy for doing so.

Where will you save the money? Do you need a method which will earn you interest? How often will you save and such should be part of your plan.

Planning will make reaching your objective a lot easier, and it will take care of any unforeseen contingencies that may arise along the way.

Choose a savings service where you can earn compound interest. This allows you to increase a sum of money faster than with simple interest because you will earn returns on the money you invest as well as returns at the completion of each compounding period.

Set up a monthly automatic transfer from your salary account to your savings account. An automatic transfer to your savings account ensures you do not get tempted to use the money.

The savings account could be your Sacco account, money market fund account or your fixed deposit account. The harder it is to withdraw the money the better.

Reduce your expenses by creating a budget

This is where you do a financial audit of your expenses. Differentiate your needs and wants. You may simplify your budget by using the 50-30-20 guideline.

It recommends allocating 50% and 30% of your budget to necessities and wants, respectively, with the remaining 20% set aside for savings or debt repayment.

Carry homemade meals to the office instead of eating in a restaurant, say no to friends who always invite you to outings you have not planned for and do not be apologetic when saying you cannot afford something. Plan for that lavish vacation you want by saving for it. Luxury is expensive.&nbsp;Such simple lifestyle changes will start you off in the saving culture.&nbsp;

After creating the budget, the next step is to manually track and record your expenses, or use a smartphone app to do so. This will allow you to identify the ‘big fish,' or what you typically spend your money on. You will know how to lower the expenses you can do without.&nbsp;

Saving will help you have your finances in order and you will be able to deal with unforeseen uncertainties seamlessly.

If you lost your job today or an emergency arose, how long would you be able to sustain yourself financially? This question will help you brainstorm and challenge yourself as long as saving is concerned.&nbsp;

Saving is not done because one has enough money

How to build a money saving culture [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Conventionally, marriage was the ultimate next step after completing school and it was always done through a wedding. It was not a surprise seeing a young lady get married&nbsp;off at 19.

We are now in a different era where people are welcoming the idea that marriage is not a goal in life and you can still be okay without getting into marriage.

Church weddings are also becoming fewer as people are also choosing civil marriage and traditional weddings.&nbsp;

Cohabitation has become a contentious topic in recent years.

Many people regard cohabitation as a preferable option to marriage, whereas religious individuals regard it as a wicked act that may rouse God's anger.

Cohabitation can be defined as a condition where two people who are in a relationship decide to stay together before getting married.

A large percentage of African parents dread the idea of cohabitation since most believe the church wedding is the most appropriate way for youths to marry.&nbsp;

<h3>The first step is to discuss the end goal of cohabitation</h3>

Njeri Kinuthia

Articles written by the author

4 sure ways to make an unforgettable first impression

What Chiki Kuruka, Lady Mandy and Yvonne Endo have in common [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

4 ways to comfort a grieving parent

4 things you’ll wish you had learned in your 20s

Common mistakes first time car buyers make [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

6 tips to save and reduce fuel consumption for your car [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

How to build a money saving culture [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Pros and cons of come-we-stay arrangements

10 gift ideas for your man, forget socks and ties

Red flags to look out for when in a relationship [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

7 affordable activities to enjoy over the weekend

How to pay less on your electricity bill [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

Essential tips for a solo traveler

Miracle Baby's experience as a morgue attendant [Pulse Contributor's Article]

Life hacks: how Nairobians survive on a tight budget [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]