Maybe you have kissed so many frogs and you are yet to find the right one. It can be frustrating but don’t give up yet. There’s hope and you can still find the love of your life and spend your happily ever after together. I know that sounds like a soap opera but seriously, this is not the year to give up on love.
If you are into finding love in 2020, then just read on to know the do’s and don’ts that will lead you to the love of your life. Relationship therapist Grace Kariuki shed some light on the topic and shared with us some of the things you need to do to best increase your chances of finding love this year.
Tips to find love in 2020
If you are feeling worried about not ever finding love or are facing societal pressure, Grace tells us that it’s very normal.
“It is possible to battle feelings of failure and low self-worth. There can also be confusion as to why things aren't working out. Am I too good? Are my standards and expectations too high?” Grace tells pulselive.co.ke.
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But before you even create a Tinder account or ask your friends to hook you up with their single friends, Grace advises that the number one thing you should do is understand yourself. Get to know your values, beliefs and even deal-breakers. This will help you to find the person who can suit your character so that you don’t have to compromise your values just to be in a relationship with someone.
“Once you identify these values, embrace them and be okay with them. When looking for love, then look for someone who fits with your values. If you have waited this long, it means you have some expectations that are not being met.” She goes on to tell us.
Evaluate your past relationships
Another important tip to help you find love is to evaluate your last three relationships and find out why they failed. If they failed because your ex-partners did not respect you, then you know that for sure, no matter how badly you need a partner, you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t respect you.
Next step? Take action and start mingling with other singles while still carrying your values with you.
Grace advises that “Join groups where there are eligible singles. Your self-confidence will increase your "marketability". You will be able to start conversations and to increase your chances of meeting others who are looking for relationships. Also, identify any unresolved issues you may have. Get some personal counselling and coaching that will help you resolve the pain of the past. It will enable you to heal and be free to be your real self in your next relationship.”
While in pursuit of love, Grace warns that you should never act desperate. If someone is not willing to accommodate you or they keep on disrespecting you, stay away from them as soon as you notice the red flags.